This may seem like a simple topic, but once LDS and I started talking about it we realized it is not so simple as it may seem. First of all think about the following:
1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?
2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates?
3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa?
4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above?
Now consider this...
Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you? Yup, lots to discuss here, I am interested in your deep thought - no one sentence answers allowed
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1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you? |
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2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates? |
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3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa? |
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4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above? |
1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?
A person whom I share interests with, whom I can trust to follow through on things they say or promise (and not just to me but to other people). Someone who finds something *in me* that they can relate to, and loves me even if I'm sometimes a little kooky.
2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates? Sure. Friends are those I can spend time with on a personal level. Friends are more like family than even family can be sometimes. Most people at work or even at church are merely associates or acquaintances.
3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa? Of course. I've been demoted any number of times over the years for poor behavior.
4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above? Not based on that definition, no, but they could become friends based on a lower level of relating. They can't speak or discuss the issues of the day, talk about family, etc.; but they are affectionate and can be friends in the way any animal can be our friends.
Roz
This is something I've had several long and heated discussions about.
1. I would say that a friend is above all someone you can trust, and second, someone who is genuinely concerned for your well being. Shared interests help, but ultimately it's the first two that make the difference between a friend and associate.
2. Without a doubt I know the difference between friends and associates. Associates are what I'm surrounded with, I've had precious few friends. Associates are people to whom you lie when they ask how you're doing, people that you engage in polite conversation with occasionally, etc.
3. Absolutely friends can be demoted. Spending less time around each other will do it, a breach of trust will do it. There's lots of ways for it to happen.
4. I think I'd rather make friends with a member of the weasel or feline families, but if all I had were monkey's then I think they could be friends, animals can be genuinely concerned for the welfare of people, and they can earn trust. Of course it wouldn't be quite as fulfilling as a friendship with a human, it could still be a friendship.
All interesting answers, but it seems everyone is overlooking these questions:
Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you?
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Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you? |
I agree with LDS-Forever -- we choose our friends. And even if someone makes overtures of friendship, it is ultimately my decision if I consider them a friend to me -- whether or not they consider me a friend to them. I've been burned enough times (and burned in return) that I don't trust very many people anymore, even if they consider themselves my friend.
I understand what you mean Farseer. I am amazed at how many people refer to others that do them silly, bad or even evil things as 'friends'. What a misguided sorry state of mind to call someone who seeks ill will against you 'a friend'.