I guess that depends Geenie what is your end goal? A child that can live on their own or one that depends on you far all.
My wife an I look forward to our boys leaving one day. So we let them make choices with the ability to ask us if they need to. Obviously the places we allow this depends on the issue. It must be within their means to understand the complications of choice.
We are continuously giving them more rope so as to speak as they show us they can handle what they have. It help them improves their self confidence as well.
It is hard to watch them make the bad choices but better now then later.
I prefer to watch over the kids when they are younger to see that they do not get hurt or wander into the street. Once they have reached the age of 5 or 6 I let them learn more from their mistakes.
I think it is fun to watch them struggle through something and then the joy on their face when they get it done. When they ask questions a few pointers here and there helps. A child has to learn to do things on their own. If not they will never leave when they are older.
There is actually something written about this in most modern psychology text books and parenting issues. Here is a good reference for it. Now, If you want more direct quotes, I can copy them from my own textbook. But, I don't really have a personal opinion as, being only 17, I have no personal experience.
Edited: Rhieland on 15th Oct, 2008 - 11:00pm