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He Bullies Her Using Guilt

Name: Dave

Comments: My wife lost her mother 4 years ago and found it hard to cope with it but she is not the problem. Her brother was the golden boy in the family and his mum would run around after him whenever he clicked his fingers. Since her death he has had to seek attention from other sources and as my wife is vulnerable at the moment is using her in the same way he used his mum.
He calls 3 times a day and texts her at least 10 times a day asking for FAVOURS or just making up problems so he could ask for help.He started binge drinking as a form of attention seeking as he knows my wife has already lost her mum and could not stand to lose him.He has turned up at family parties drunk as he knows people will look after him and expects everyone to feel sorry or him.
After months of him being in and out of hospital my wife got very ill due to worry and had to distant herself from him to save herself which did not go down well.He contacted her after a few months and said he was gay and needed help with dealing with it and she ran back to him out of guilt.He uses guilt very well and emotionally blackmails her into doing everything for him.
After months go by again my wife became more ill and had to take a break from her brother and after a few weeks she had a call from a mental hospital saying her brother had been found talking to himself and other people who were not there,he was being sectioned under the mental health act.
Again she ran around after him, now after being let out after a short time has moved 3 doors down from us and has contacted her daily again.Over the last few years he has shown all the signs of a attention seeker, he is needy, he bullies her using guilt, uses medical conditions as attention seeking and my wife gets more sick everyday.what can be done?

Guilt Using Bullies He

Dave, this situation needs to stop and NOW! I would strongly suggest you to have a long, deep and meaningful conversation with your wife about it and talk about how all this is affecting her, you and the relationship. She is the one that has to stand and CHOOSE what she wants to do with regards to her brother's behavior because truly, it is not fair for you and the relationship you all share. Unfortunately, unless SHE is willing to do something about it there is nothing you can do to stop this nightmare. If nothing works, I suggest she sees a therapist.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to show a person how things truly are because they cannot see it for themselves. As long as she welcomes his phone calls and tactics of attention this will go on until she ends up in a hospital bed.

He Bullies Her Using Guilt Health & Special Psychology

LDS_forever is putting it much nicer then I would. His teeth would be smiling from his butt. I have a sister who is not so different from this. You need to put the rules of engagement on the table with your wife and tell her that you know she loves the prat dearly but it is unhealthy to continue the relationship. Let her know you fear she will pass away living alone to raise children and that you deeply desire to grow old with her. Once her heart trusts that her mind will follow.

Only then will you be able to stop the brother from being such a problem. I would suggest all three of you meet with a councilor and start resolving the issues. I am sure he knows what they are but he has not chose to deal with it yet. You need to get him to have a desire to change. If you are Christian I suggest pray to god for his eyes and heart to open to the damage he is doing and to have a changed heart.

Guilt Using Bullies He

I would take a more drastic approach. I would tell my wife to let me handle him. I would go over there on a daily basis and work to get him back on his feet. I will also tell him to leave his sister out of it as he is killing her. I would find a way for that to sink into his skull.