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Autism: Looking For A Fight

Autism: Looking For A Fight

Conscious or not, purposeful or not, one characteristic I notice especially with our son is that each day he gets up ready to say "No", ready to refuse to do what you say and basically blaming us for what he may be doing wrong. Each day is incredibly stressful because you anticipate what is going to happen and regardless of the inevitability and preparation it still leaves you drained. Do you have a child with autism that tends to be aggressive or angry often?

Fight For Autism

I am not in that position but reading this a thought jumped at me. Could this be tied to forgiveness in some manner. I know a child with autism is younger then his years in their mental processes. Could there be a link?

Autism: Looking For A Fight Health & Special Psychology

Forgiveness? Not sure I understand what you mean. Children with autistic characteristics just do what they want to do most times without remorse, empathy or consequence. Its something you have to get used by understanding that they are not purposely acting that way, but it leaves you very drained and stressed nevertheless.

Fight For Autism

Interesting I did not know that. So they do not tend to associate mom and dads reaction to what they are doing to anger at all? I am thinking more of the interaction of the parent giving corrective parenting toward the outburst and him not forgiving you for that action. thus increasing the negative feels he has not on a conscious level but subconscious. This reasoning might be not in there grasp though. Sorry now I am showing my ignorance in this.

Fight For Autism

It literally is impossible for someone who does not have an child with autism to understand what it is like to parent such special needs. If you see a child with autism you will see most times that they look normal but behave as though they have no manners or the typical 'spoiled' that people like to use.

The best way to understand it is to consider if you gave your child an instruction and then they just did something else, so you repeat your instruction again and then they do something else every day all day for the rest of your life as a parent. Another way to see it. Imagine you explain to the child they cannot watch a certain cartoon they like to see because the television station is covering a government report so they immediately break down emotionally and start crying and crying and then getting angry, complaining, throwing things around, etc. Now imagine experiencing this EVERYDAY and ALL DAY EVERYDAY. It may be tough to imagine, but the only other Member here who may understand this is DianeC as she has two special kids as well.

Lastly, do not be afraid if you do not know, I did not know before I had a child with special needs and it has change my life forever. Look through many of the Threads we have here, and you will gain a better perspective of it.

Autism: Looking For A Fight

I have read many of them and other article but I did not realize the process of connecting cause and effect was that limited in the younger years.

My experience with autism and spinal bifida were from adults (20 to 25) they seemed to have passed and managed to start making these connection. I am trying to keep in mind there are huge variance in severity in each and every instance as well. I shall have to delve into the other boards more to fill in more gaps as well then.

Autism For Fight

Not at all. If I have to define a high functioning autistic child like my son("classic" non-verbal autistic children are a TOTALLY different matter) I can describe them as "robots". Basically, the way they talk, interact and feel is being "taught" to them. Most kids feel sorry if they hurt someone because is a *natural* feeling. Autistic kids don't have that *natural* feeling so you have to teach them that what they did hurt someone. After a while, they get used to it and start feeling "sorry" for what they have done, NOT because they naturally know but because it was taught to them. Like this, with everything else you can think of. Raising a kid with high functioning autism is like raising a child that is "open" in every way, speaks his mind exactly the way he sees things with no difference of whether someone is a kid or an older person or someone in authority so your days pass teaching and training the child in the things he should say and the things he shouldn't say.

As an example, we were watching the show "Bizarre foods" with Felipe. The guy is eating something he really dislikes, he throws up but then goes to the person that cooked the meal and tell her "Thank you so much for your wonderful meal" (out of courtesy of course). Felipe could not understand why he would say that if is not true. He did not/does not understand that sometimes people do say things like that in order to not hurt people's feelings. Basically if the person was Felipe, he would have said that it did not taste good at all with no thoughts or remorse of the other person's feelings.

About forgiveness, let me tell you that after having this child, the word forgiveness brought an absolutely different meaning to my life as well as the word "judging" other parents and kids. Now when I see misbehaving badly in public I wonder if they have special needs rather than harshly criticize them for "spoiling" their child.

The stress is high, very high and is not up to the kid to change, he won't. It is up to you as parent to do it and that's the toughest thing of all because you're human. Having said that, I feel blessed to have him in my life because despite the challenges, he is a very smart, loving child who loves his family very much.

Autism For Fight Psychology Special & Health

Thanks you for sharing that as it really did help to clarify the cause and effect relation in this. It is a huge difference in approach them from many things. I find my oldest I have taken more of this kind of approach and it is helping even though he is not autistic. We both do though have a cognitive thinking disorder. It flairs in eye to hand translation and in emotional reasoning and in repetitive tasks that other learn quickly.