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I Feel So Betrayed And So Lost

Name: Crystal

Comments: I just recently found out my great grandmother passed away february 26th 2009 but my own mother neglected to tell me until March 1st 2009. I just moved out of my parents house and I feel so betrayed and so lost. I now live with a very close friend and my boyfriend wants me to come down there but he has to okay it with his mom. He is so caring and understanding and is willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy. He told me he wants to marry me his last year of high school and I truly can't wait to be a part of HIS family...He and a have a long distance relationship but he has supported me through everything. What is the best advice you could give me on how to deal with the loss of my great grandmother and the fact that my own family keeps secrets from me?

Lost So Betrayed Feel I

Crystal, sorry to hear about the passing of your great grandmother. It is hard to give an advise since you do not tell us the reasons why your family kept the news from you. Sometimes loved ones in their best intention to protect us, do this kind of things. I know, not justified but in their mind they try to protect us.

Even though what happened was a terrible mistake, I think you should try to open up with your family and have an honest conversation about the reasons they keep secrets from you. It seems to me that there are unresolved issues that need to be air out in order to find some type of closure.

I also advise not to rush into any decision that you may regret years later such as marrying your boyfriend now. You both seem to be very young and even though everything may be nice in the beginning, when pressure and responsibilities start appearing in a marriage things are not as nice as you may have thought. I am not saying not to do it, just think about it carefully and don't do it for the wrong reasons such as having a "new" family.

I wish you all the best in whatever decision you take.

I Feel So Betrayed And So Lost Reviews Consumer & Travel Family Culture

Your great grandmother died and I am sorry that I cannot tell you how to deal with that. The death of a loved one is a very personal thing. I have lost my grandparents long ago and my father about 10 years ago. People can say the understand how you feel, but they dont...only you really do. You feel loss, you feel anger (sometimes), you feel betrayed, you feel cheated, etc... However, you should think about what that person, the one that died, would want you to do. How would they want you to think of them and conduct your life.

I guess I am a bit confused. You say that your mother told you, but it was about 2 plus days after your great grandmother died. You didnt say that you found out from someone else and then confronted your mother with the deceit. Since it is your great grandmother...when did your mother actually find out?

Also, did you move out as a result of this or have you just recently moved out? The reason I ask is that you sound very young (guess about 15-17) and I suspect that your leaving the house was not quite something that your mother wanted. If I am correct, she might be angry with your decision and that might play a part of why it took a couple of days to tell you. Your leaving is almost like the great grandmother leaving for your mother...you really need to understand this if you are not leaving under the best of circumstances. She feels betrayed and a loss!

My 2 cents on marriage is wait. You and your boyfriend are not able to support yourselves and you need to finish school and hopefully continue on to college. If it is meant to be, you both will be able to wait. If not, then it just wasnt meant to be. However, if you pack up and leave to go live with him...dont expect your mothers behaviour be towards your liking anytime soon.