this is true story. A guard up at the Salt Lake temple would often receive telephone calls from people asking questions. well he would usuall answer the phone with the words "angel moroni speaking". and the person on the other end would chuckel and then ask their question. well one time the phone rang and he answered it in his usual way but then there was nothing but silence on the other end. and after awhile the voice said that it was Spencer W kimball and that he wanted his car brought to that gate. well the guard gasped and pictured being excomunicated. but he had br Kimballs car brought to that gate and as br Kimball walked by him he said nothing until he was getting into his car and he looked at the guard and said "you know what they say about false prophets". then got into the car and drove off. The guard was releived but very worried.
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"
"Well," said the orangutang, "I was just curious, you know... Am I my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
OK here is cute story.
There was this one little boy who upon coming out of sunday school waited for his teacher and as the teacher came out he asked. teacher for months now you have been telling us about how the children of Isreal fought aginst the hitities, and the children of Isreal fought aginst the Philistines, and how the children of Isreal fought aginst the Egyptions, now I want to know WHAT WAS THE ADULTS DOING ALL THIS TIME?
can you relate. This one little boy was asked by his bishop one sunday to give a talk in church the next sunday and he could talk on what ever he wanted. so that evening he thought and thought. and well all threw out the week his friends would come up to him and ask what he was going to talk about that sunday. and his reply was Only Heavenly Father and I know. well as time passed and all threw out the week when sunday came and his parents asked what are you going to talk about and his reply was the same Only Heavenly Father and I know. and just befor the meeting the bishop asked what he was going to talk about and he proudly said Only Heavenly Father and I know. well as the people came in the meeting room and as the little boy sat down he suddenly looked down..... there was all his family, and all his friends, and alot of church members just waiting to hear him. and as the time came for him to give his talk he stood quivering and said ONLY HEAVENLY FATHER KNOWS WHAT I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT I'VE FORGOTTEN.
Here are a few to lighten your day:
One busy Saturday as I was leaving for work and my husband was leaving for the temple, our 11-year-old asked who was going to fix breakfast. We told him that his 15-year-old brother would. He replied, "Would this be a good time to use my 72-hour kit?"
Missionary Advice: "When a big mean, dog attacks you, Elder, just remember, you don't have to run faster than the dog, ... you just have to outrun your companion."
When the MTC was built in Provo, beautiful green athletic fields were planted so the missionaries would have a place to exercise. However, they were so inviting that BYU students were attracted there, and you would see BYU students out playing touch football, throwing Frisbees, etc., on the missionaries' field. To deal with this problem, a large banner was posted, which read "Missionaries Only."
The next day, BYU students were out on the field, playing touch football and throwing Frisbees. They had posted a new banner which read, "Every member a missionary."