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Cat Jokes

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he"d found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went "Pssst!" and it didn't move."'

-- author unknown

Jokes Cat

You are so funny, JB!!
Signs your cat has learned your internet password

* You get email flames from some guy named Fluffy."
* Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
* You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
* Your mouse has teeth marks in it ... and a strange aroma of tuna.
* Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of "CyberDog."
* Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
* You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
* On ICQ, you're known as the IronMouser.
* Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

Roz
(who does *not* hate cats! )

Cat Jokes Games Forum & Humor Jokes

Here's one I thought particularly funny!

HOW TO WASH THE CAT

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted .

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. (Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, he is actually enjoying this.)

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The Dog

Jokes Cat

That was hilarious!!!

Heres one:

Steps to making your cat fly.

1. Attach cat's favorite ball to 1 ft. of rope, and attach rope to a fan.

2. Turn on fan.

3. Force cat to look at ball.

4. Eventually your cat will reach out, snag the ball, not be able to let go, and he'll be flying!!