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Joke of the day - Page 9

Actual Rules for Teachers (circa 1915)

1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.
(Those single old teachers were MUCH meaner)

2. You are not to keep company with men.
(May get ideas of marriage)

3. You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m.
unless attending a school function.
(This is for all those emergency teacher meetings on how to be meaner)

4. Your dresses must be not be any shorter than two inches above the
ankle.
(Wait!! We don't want to see your ankles either!)

5. You may not travel beyond the city limits unless
you have the permission of the chairman of the (school) board.
(Maybe the teachers were all on parole?)

6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man
unless he is your father or brother.
(Goes back to the marriage thing)

7. You may not dress in bright colors.
(Someone may see you!)

8. You may under no circumstances dye your hair.
(We like gray hair on our teachers)

9. You must wear at least two petticoats.
(Three if it's the second Friday of the month, or a full moon!)

10. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
(We don't want you hanging around THOSE kinds of
places! What would the children think??)

day the Joke

DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN...

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.

There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.

You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.

The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.

Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.

You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago, and now you can't find it anywhere.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

Joke of the day Games Forum & Humor Jokes

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Page 9 day the Joke

I just now learned about this from an Internet group I participate in, and I want to share it before it's removed from the World Wide Web.

Go to the GOOGLE search engine.

If you can't see the automatic Internet link I
provided, then here is the web site URL for your
browser window:

https://www.google.com/

At that web site, type the words, WEAPONS OF MASS
DESTRUCTION, into the search window.

Hit the button marked, I'M FEELING LUCKY.

Read the ERROR MESSAGE that pops up!

Hurry up and do this before somebody changes
it!

Roz

day the Joke

Farseer, that is so fun! How ever did you find that? I can't wait to show my hubby when he gets home, he'll love it!

Joke of the day

It was in one of my email groups, is that hysterical? Nighthawk is gonna love this one.

Roz