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Sexual Attraction & Mormon Marriage?

Based on the topic concerning Glenn Beck and his wife, I wanted to ask the question.

Is Sexual attraction an important and major factor (Of course not the only one) in determining ones spouse in LDS terms (I realize their may be differing views on this and it may be hard to find source material.)?
Is it as important as finding common ground, belief in God, desire to raise a family, or is it way down on the list of important factors in determining a mate.

I have the following questions concerning this topic
1. Is Sex an important part of the marriage covenant?
2. Should part of the selection process when we are looking for a mate include sexual attractiveness?
3. Is it wrong to be extremely attracted to your spouse, and have wholesome desires for her throughout ones marriage, or should these desires be tampered and controlled?

I believe this can be a serious discussion, and is an important one. Any opinions are appreciated.

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Its frustrating that some Members of the Church think sex is dirty. It is not. It is as important in a marriage as keeping the commandments, serving each other, intimacy, talking and is in fact a commandment from God. Sex within marriage is great and should be encouraged. It is one of many aspects of a healthy LDS marriage that should not be overlooked, and is as important, in my opinion, as church attendance and temple worship,. Of course it should not be the extreme focus of a marriage, but part of a holistic view of marital happiness and commitment. My wife, (Who is a part of this forum, Hi Pianomom) would agree with me (We talked about this last night) and believes that sex is a very important part of our commitment to one another. We have five boys with one who will be born this Saturday (We are going to have him induced), so we have had sex at least 6 times.
But to tell you the truth, sex now is so much more fulfilling then it was, even when we were young newlyweds. I feel comfortable enough discussing this with you all because I trust the people on the Forum to understand at least that I am sincere and not treating the relationship I have with my wife lightly. I just want to express the opinion that Sex in Marriage, I believe, is celebrated by God, and a sanctioned part of a healthy and happy marriage. It has drawn us closer together, and with prayer, Scripture study, and church service I believe we have a healthy balancing of important aspects of a good marriage.

Marriage Mormon and Attraction Sexual

I think this goes somewhat along with this topic. . .
1Corinthians 7:3-5

Sexual Attraction & Mormon Marriage? Studies Doctrine Mormon

We have many related Threads that you might like to check out since a lot of Discussion about this is there:

Sexuality In Heaven: Source 5

Oral Sex Within Marriage: Source 9

Sexual Intimacy: Source 6

Marriage Mormon and Attraction Sexual

I think this raises in interesting question, not just about sexual attraction to ones spouse, but about how much our personal views and dreams etc. Should influence our selection of a mate.

I once read a sermon by John Taylor - I want to say he refered to a vision - in which he taught that all true marriages were consummated before the Spirits came to Earth. That then would mean we (may) already have a specific spouse. Would it be wrong to go and find one that pleases us and should we rather try to find the one already given to us, or is it perfectly ok to just go about and find someone we like? That's something that I have thought about a lot. I always think that our number one reason for marriage should be revelation, all else should be neglected. But when do you follow this correctly, and don't over- or under-do it so to say.

I always have to admit, if I wouldn't have been physically attracted to my wife before we got married, I probably would've never gone on my knees to ask for revelation concerning her. But as I was new to the church then, and well, let's say still influenced by my pre-gospel thinking to a degree about finding girlfriends etc, was it only because of my weakness then that I "had to be" attracted to her first? My views now have changed a bit since then, and now if I could go back, I would definitely first pray, and then make advances. But back then it was the other way around. Is either way correct? Now I feel we should go to the Lord first, to make sure we get the "right" one.

to answer the other three questions:

1) Yes, I would definitely say so. I think it's a very important part of the marriage covenant, and a very holy act.
2) I think it will influence us since we are human, but we need to be careful not to "rule someone out". Sometimes the most spiritual girl isn't necessarily the "hottest chick" in the ward.
3) Wholesome desires I consider important and good. "Extreme" is where I would have my problems with. "extreme" to me sounds like "lusting", and I consider lust wrong, whether inside or outside. And I think it is quite different from a wholesome desire and physical attraction. (In fact, I was told seminary teachers are asked as part of the selection process whether they lust after their spouses). But where does desire end and lust begin? that's something we need to figure out ourselves. I think it's way more important to have a physical desire for ones wife in the way that one wishes to be close to her, rather than a physical desire out of simple sexual arousal. I do feel there is a difference between these two.

Marriage Mormon and Attraction Sexual

Interesting views Oldsouth.

I think it is entirely within the realm of a Godly Marriage to lust (strongly desire) after your wife. Notice the Scripture say if you lust after a woman, then you have committed adultery in your heart. You can't really commit adultery with your wife, so I do not think this prohibition pertains to a married couple.

There is a need for both a desire to be close to one's wife or husband and the God given "lust" that we have for our spouse. Of course I believe that any sexual feelings one has for their spouse must be within the bounds the lord has set.

It may be true that the word lust implies an excessive focus on sex, so under that definition it may be inappropriate. I may be wrong because of how I am defining lust in this discussion.

Sexual Attraction & Mormon Marriage?

Yeah, from how I just read your post I think our disagreement lies on what defines "lust", because I totally agree with what you say except for I think "lust" is still wrong.

I understand "to lust after someone" to be a total focus on their sexual/physical comeliness with a view as to a gratification of your own carnal desires. But the way you described it, as a strong (physical) desire, I agree with you. I think we're supposed to be physically attracted in such a way to our own spouses.

Sexual Attraction & Mormon Marriage

Would you mind to expand on these two points?

For me, I think it is fine to have a strong sexual attraction/desire towards your spouse but at the same time even though we cannot technically commit adultery with her/him, those feelings should be "channeled" (kept in check) without seeing our spouses as just sexual objects there for our own gratification. That for me is what it means to "lust" whether a stranger or your own spouse. The point is, can most people recognize the difference?

Sexual Attraction & Mormon Marriage Mormon Doctrine Studies

To me there is no fundamental gospel reason why we cannot satisfy our spouses urges (those which have been given by God) . I think it is totally appropriate at times for my wife to use me to satisfy her sexual desires, and I occasionally take my wife and satisfy my own urges. This is not a misuse of sexuality and is the only place (within the bounds of marriage) that sexual urges and desires can be wholesomely expressed. There is no sin in the lawful expression of sexual desire for your spouse.

Spencer Kimball stated

It is therefore appropriate and commanded to have sex first for procreation and second to show love for your spouse.

I think both are necessary, because God put( or it is an eternal aspect of humanity) the urge to procreate into man and women and the proper place to express this God given urge is within the bounds of Marriage. God also expects us to treat one another with respect and a Christlike love. These two things are not mutually exclusive. Wanting and desiring ones spouse is as much within the Gospel plan as wanting only to be close to her on a non-sexual level.

Spencer Kimball also said: