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Puns, puns.  Puns everywhere

PAINFUL PUNS  :

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, Gentlemen. Only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

There were two people sitting in a kayak. They were cold so they lit a fire, and the craft sank. It only proved, once again, that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain and they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon Receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

There were ten puns, that my mom sent me, but I left some of them out.  Didn't want to offend anyone.  ;)

everywhere nbspPuns puns Puns

Some of these are cute, and thanks for leaving out the offensive tid-bits.