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Golfing Jokes

At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The
straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on
the left.

The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction.
But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path
onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was
knocked back on to the fairway.

As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him,
"How on earth did you do that?"

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus
schedule."

Jokes Golfing

;D ;D Funny...

[center]God and Moses went golfing.[/center]

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole.

It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver.

Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it."

So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake.

So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine.

Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway. Then God took out his driver.

Moses said, "God, last time you used your driver you sliced it. You always slice it."

And God repeated, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he got up, and hit the ball. Long hard shot, sliced, PLUNK!

Moses said, "I got the last one." So God walked on the water, bent over, picked up the ball. About this time there was a foursome coming up behind them. One if the guys saw what God was doing and asked Moses, "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus?"

Moses replied, "No. He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

Golfing Jokes Games Forum & Humor Jokes

[center]The Devil Meets The Golfer: [/center]

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says,"OK." And sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself: "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle.

Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly." And makes the eagle. As the golfer walks to the clubhouse, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the Devil, and from now on you will have no sex life." "Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley!"

Jokes Golfing

QUOTE

Moses replied, "No. He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

:spock: I am not sure if it is a North American thing, but I never see the necessityof making God out to be so 'backward' especially in joke format.