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Jokes Men - Jokes, Humor, Forum Games - Posted: 9th Aug, 2003 - 1:01pm
Posts: 14 - Views: 1451
Jokes about Men
Yeah, people I know that when I start this thread someone will add 'Jokes about Women' 
but anyhow, I have to take the risk. Feel free to ad a joke you know about men, let's laugh at them a little bit . But keep it clean please.
What's a man's idea of helping with house work?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. :
What's the difference between man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home. :
How do men exercise at the beach?
Everytime they see a bikini, they suck their belly in :
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Men Jokes
I got this off of Netscape's home page. They said the following are the seven big turn offs about men according to women. Now I do not know how true all of this is, but it seemed like a joke to me. I will put what they said in plain text and my comments are in bold.
1. Seeing an anger management graduation certificate on your wall. Don't punch us for saying this, and it's great to be proud of your accomplishments and all, but maybe you should take down reminders of your violent past if a woman is coming over. Unless it's Naomi Campbell who's coming over.
First of all, I have never heard of anyone framing an anger management certificate, have you?
2. A picture of your mom on your nightstand. Don't you have a mantel?
What is the woman doing by his night stand?
3. A picture of your pet in your wallet. Be a man.
Can't anyone have a sentimental side?
4. A tattoo of your ex's name. If you were really over her, you would have covered it up. Tommy Lee and Johnny Depp got rid of their body art dedicated to ex-lovers.
How did the woman get to know it was there in the first place :spock: and who would do something like mutilate their skin with a name?
5. Expensive shampoo/conditioner. You don't have to use Suave, but she may question your sexuality if your grooming products are more expensive than hers.
Head & Shoulders cost more than most top brands I do not see anything fancy about it :
6. Your magazine subscriptions. She'll scrutinize your bathroom reading materials. If they're all work-related, she'll think you don't know how to play. If they're all ladies magazines, she'll think you like to be a player. If they're all porn magazines, she'll think you play with yourself too much.
Doesn't a guy have anything better to do that sit in a toilet reading? Porn? Well, let's not even go there! :
7. Potpourri. This implies your mother does your interior decorating. Go on Trading Spaces.
So you are saying that guys should take the time to check the kind of smell eminating from a decorative item?
Post Date: 4th Aug, 2003 - 3:42pm / Post ID: #
Jokes Men
Ok, here's a cute one about Adam:
One day Adam was talking to God and asked, "Lord, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
The Lord, searching for an answer that Adam would easily understand and said, "So that you would love her."
Adam pondered a minute, then asked, "But, Lord, why did you make her so dumb?"
Without hesitation, the Lord answered, "So that she would love you!"
Post Date: 9th Aug, 2003 - 1:01pm / Post ID: #
Jokes Men Jokes Humor & Forum Games
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb.... :
______________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.......Whoosh....immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy! 
TOPIC: Jokes about Men