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Mormon Policeman / Cop
Name: Help
Comments: My husband is a Mormon and he is also a cop. In his work with the police he has to deal with a lot of hardened criminals that he says makes his spirit either bitter or disturbed. I can feel it when he comes home. Sometimes he is angry because of what he sees. Sometimes I worry about him because he does have an important calling and I don't want his work to distract from it. Any tips?
Name: Eric
Comments: I am an LDS Cop, and I would bet that he is allowing his cop peers to shape how he deals with his calls. He needs to be reminded that he is a unique individual, in a unique career, but with a unique perspective and talents that he can bring to the table. If he remains professional, and practices calm assertiveness, he will feel more empowered.
He also needs time to be himself. Even with my above suggestions, there still comes an inherent stress with the job than can only be eliminated by him staying in touch with himself. He needs to golf, do woodworking, fly fish, read, go on dates with you, read his scriptures, anything that reminds him of his identity on earth, and his eternal purposes.
When he comes home angry try to idetify it in the nicest way possible, but with the stipulation that you will immediatly honor time for him to wind down.
Don't ask him why he is angry. Most cops don't like to re-tell their stories, but he needs an outlet to winddown, so he's not taking subconcious stress out on you, the children, and the magnifying of his callings.
It seems to me like Eric said that he needs some sort of hobby to keep his mind away of all the bad things he sees during the day you know what am I saying? he has to be careful that he doesnt let his anger at work affect his family life or treat you guys poorly.
I think Eric gives some great suggestions. I also wonder if you have talked to him about how this effects you? It seems that you are effected as well. Perhaps talking about this will help him understand that he is not alone, that like it or not you share in the burden or pain he feels. Also perhaps some venue to talk with a proffessional at times may help, do debrief and de-stress. Also try creating a safe space at home, a place where he can feel safe to talk and feel loved. This will help.