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T&T Jokes

A West Indian woman called up a pet store and said, "Send me
thirty-thousand cockroaches at once!"  

"What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?"
asked the astonished clerk.  

"Well," replied the woman, "I moving today and my lease say I must
leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found it."  

Jokes TampT

                 A burglar broke into a house one night.  He shined his flashlight around, looking for
                 valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange,
                 disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

                 He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze.  When he
                 heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after
                 the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

                 Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
                 heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically,
                 looking for the source of the voice.  Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
                 beam came to rest on a parrot.  

                 "Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.  

                 "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."  

                 The burglar relaxed.  "Warn me, huh?  Who in the world are you?"  

                 "Moses," replied the bird.  

                 "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses."

                 "The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."

T&T Jokes Jokes Tobago Trinidad

    A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I
can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2
hours."  The guy leaves.

    A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks
"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the
shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

    A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How
long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and
says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves.

    The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill,
follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has
to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back." A little while later, Bill
comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill,
where did he go when he left here?"

    Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!"

Jokes TampT

Three buddies talking bout if they in they casket and friends and
family are mourning over them, what they would like to hear them say
'bout them?

The first fella say, "I would like to hear them say that I was a
great doctor, and a great family man."

The second fella say, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful
husband and school teacher who mek a huge difference in the children of
tomorrow."

The third fella say, "I would like to hear them say......LOOK DEY,
HE MOVING!!!!!"

Jokes TampT

Had this one sent to me via email... it is called,

  'Balgobin Strikes Again'

TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Balgobin!


TEACHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN: Me!


TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card.


TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.


TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.


TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?


TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

T&T Jokes

The Baddest, Most Feared Man On Earth

Before daily prayers and before declaring a Fatwa, Osama Bin Laden would go into a great cave in the Hindu Kush mountains of Afghanistan.  In that cave was the largest mirror in the world. He would ask it 'Oh Mirror, oh Mirror. Who is the baddest, most feared man on this great earth?'

The mirror would respond 'Oh you. Usama. Oh you Usma Bin Laden.'  He would then go out, smiling, to greet the thousands of his followers.

One day he came out of the cave and dropped to the ground sobbing. His tribal leaders rushed to his side and begged him to tell them what was wrong. Through his sobs, he looked up and asked them 'Who de hell is Ramesh Lawrence Maharaj?'

Author unknown

T&T Jokes

A friend of mine, sent me this one:

A young lady was having a conversation with a Trinidadian one day and told him that she had returned to Trinidad to get married. He couldn't understand why after living abroad for so many years she couldn't find a nice man to marry instead of coming back to Trinidad.

She eventually told him that she was getting married to a Mexican doctor (in a very pronounced American accent at that). Well the guy couldn't believe what he had heard and told her."A Mexican doctor! But girl, ah real happy for yuh. Yuh real do good for yuhself!".

Eventually the day of the wedding came and the same guy who she told about the wedding decided that he wanted to pass by and see for himself how things were proceeding. He however noticed that all that was playing at the reception was dub (dancehall) music. He couldn't understand how they would only be playing dub music and the guy was Mexican, so he decided to ask someone about it.

He said, "Hear nah...how come dey playin so much ah dub, an de fella is a Mexican doctor?". The other person said, "Mexican doctor...man... de fella is a maxi conductor!" Okay, try saying it with an american accent, maxi conductor.

T&T Jokes Trinidad Tobago Jokes

Some very funny Trini jokes:

Free haircuts

A policeman walked into a barber shop and asked for a cut so the barber
gave him the cut and when the police man asked what was the price the
barber said "Free" it is on community service.
So the next day early in the morning when the barber was opening the
saloon he saw a dozen DONUTS and a letter saying it was from the
policeman.

Then a florist came got a cut, barber said it was on community service and
the next day the barber found a dozen roses.

Now a Me trinidadian now come into the saloon and got the cut and barber
said it was on communnity service.

So the next day when the barber was opening the saloon he saw a dozen
fellow TRINIDADIANS waiting for FREE HAIR CUTS.

*laughs*


Simple friend Vs. Real friend Vs. Trini friend

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A TRINI FRIEND CAUSE DE darn TEARS IN DE FIRST PLACE

A simple friend doesn't know your parent's first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A TRINI FRIEND KNOW WHERE DEY LIVIN', WHAT DEY COOKIN' ON WHAT DAY AND
WILL SHOW UP AT THEIR DOORSTEPS

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean
A TRINI FRIEND COME LATE, BRING A SET OF PEOPLE AND THEN TALK ABOUT YOU
WHEN ALL DE FOOD AND BOOZE DONE

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A TRINI FRIEND SCREENIN' DE CALL AND DON'T ANSWER WHEN IS YOU

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A TRINI FRIEND WILL LISTEN TO YOUR PROBLEMS AND CRY WID YOU, EVEN OFFER TO
HELP YOU, THEN TELL EVERYBODY AND ADD A LITTLE MORE JUICE TO THE STORY

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history,
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A TRINI FRIEND WILL BLACKMAIL YOU AND STILL TELL EVERYBODY

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
OH GOSH...A TRINI FRIEND OPEN YUH FRIDGE, CLEAN IT OUT, COMPLAIN YUH AIN'T
HAVE ENOUGH, THEN TELL DE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD DEY MOUTH WAS DRY

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a
fight.
A TRINI FRIEND TELL EVERYBODY DEY DONE WITH YOU AND TELL THEM DOH TALK TO
YOU AND SHOW UP IN YOUR HOUSE WITH BIG HUG AND TING

A simple friend expects you to be always there for them.
A real friend expects to be always there for you!
A TRINI FRIEND WILL SAY HE DOING SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT AND WILL CALL
BACK, NEXT THING YOU HEAR, HE REALLY WAS GOING TO THE ANCHORAGE FETE.


This one is hilarious!

Trini Hell

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."The
man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks
out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers
that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Trinidadian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people
waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told
"First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you
on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Trinidadian devil comes in
and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as
all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work,
someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant,
so he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."