There once was a lawyer who found out from his doctor that he was going to die in a few days. The lawyer felt weak and immediately asked the doctor to give him a Bible, which he did. The lawyer knew he did not live a life that would give him an easy passage to heaven so he started to sit and read the Bible intensely from page to page in frantic fashion. The doctor puzzled by this behavior asked, "What are you looking for? Comforting verses?"
"No" said the lawyer... "I am looking for loopholes" :
Another Lawyer Joke!
Beautiful?
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from
anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his
side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!"
and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him
say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later
his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the
wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was
"cute." She said "What happened to "beautiful"? His reply
was "The drugs are wearing off!"
QUOTE |
ol whoever wrote that joke don't like lawyers at all. Poor lawyers, they're so poor and humble...lol |
The Hit and Run Case
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"