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Email Virus Alert Messages

Hey, you know how you always get those beware of this or that virus,
well check out this one




If you receive an e-mail message with "End-All Virus" in the Subject
line, don't open it.

If you do:  End-All will re-write your hard drive.

Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are even close to your
computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so
all your ice cream gets squishy.  It will demagnetize the strips on all
our credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use
subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will
give your ex-girlfriends your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid
into your fishtank.  It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
company comes over. It will hide your car keys when you are
late for work. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you  
can't find it.  It will kick your dog.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.  End-All will give you
Dutch Elm disease.  It will leave the toilet seat up.  And it
will leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to
chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.

Messages Alert Virus Email

I like the thoughtful, conscientious people who post on the bulletin boards, "Microsoft Critical Update", where they explain the security risk and advise you to download and execute this file immediately. I even had someone email me one once.

For the two or three people who don't know what I'm talking about, never, ever download a microsoft security file update you see on a bulletin board or receive by email. Its guaranteed to be something harmful. This is why Microsoft puts an option into every single one of their Start menus labelled "Windows Updates", which will take you to the authentic Microsoft website where Microsoft will check your system and tell you if there are any critical updates you should download and install.