Close Topic Options

FarSeer Introduction - Page 55

Your words are true, friend. Also, they get to an age where they think they know a lot more than their parents - how they figure that, I'm not sure, but I remember feeling that way.

All I can hope for is that he will recognize his behavior in his own kids someday

Introduction FarSeer

You see Roz, what happens is that our kids (specially boys) they know our "weaknesses" with regards to how much we love them to...yes...the point of spoiling them, so whether we want to admit it or not, they use *us* to accomplish whatever *they* want. It is sad. Now that you discovered that, why not teaching him a lesson and start demanding that he pays rent?! Maybe the wisest thing to do if it happens again, is to let them reposes the car and even though it may hurt a lot when he runs asking you for help, you should leave him to deal with *his*responsibility by himself without your help. It's actually a way to help him even though he may not see it that way, just think if something happens to you, he will not be able to know what to do and it will be harder and very tough for him, he needs to realise that he should be on his own and take some responsibility.

Sorry if I sound too harsh...
Soli

FarSeer Introduction Sharing Member & Introductions

Hi Farseer, I'm sorry that you are having this type of worry at the moment, but I'm sure one day your Son will come to realize that he was in the wrong. Maybe not soon, but wait till he's a parent, then it'll come flooding back!

It sounds like he's taken advantage purely because you love him so much, and in my view there's no guilt in loving your child so much you want to offer them every chance you can.

He's very lucky to have 2 parents that want to help him and give him a head start in life, I know many children who would give 'their right arm' for this sort of upbringing.

I'm rooting for you, and I hope that his heart will be softened for him to realize that he was wrong to treat his parents like this.
All the best, Diane.

Page 55 Introduction FarSeer

LDS_Forever, you don't sound too harsh. I have had all of those thoughts already Of course, now that he doesn't live with me I don't have to deal with the rent issue right now. I've already told his dad that I'm done what I could and more than I should have to help the kid. It's time for him to sink or swim.

DianeC, yesterday was his birthday. I managed to get ahold of his girlfriend on her cell phone and invited them to dinner. They didn't show up. So it's going to take a while for him to simmer down, I guess. It was really hard for me, though, because this was the first time in his life that I haven't been with him on his birthday! It sounds silly, maybe, but it was really a rough day for me. I don't think he really realizes how much he's loved.

So once again, I'm taking a deep breath and getting on with my life. Thank you all for your kind words and support.

Roz

Introduction FarSeer

Wow, you have been so patient compared to my parents, in regards to your son! My high praises to you and your husband, I know it must be tough. It wasn't long ago.... OK, I have been married ten years, so its been a while, since my dad finally told me to straighten up or get out. I chose to move out, and I now know why my dad had to do it. I know its tough, but you have us behind you in this. Maybe because most of us are close to having kids that age as well, I am only a few short years away, arg!

Congrats on getting the arcade title, I haven't had the time to defend it or take it back, but I wasn't surprised you took it, you had been creeping up on me despite my best efforts, slowly but surely. Its going to take a supreme effort on my part to get it back! Great to have you back and great to be back!

FarSeer Introduction

Thanks, K - you're a peach Yes, it's hard for us parents, but there comes a time when you have to cut the apron strings. I waited too long with my son, but it teaches me a lesson for my daughter. Thanks for your support. (And, no, I still haven't heard from him.)

FarSeer Introduction - Page 55

You know what? This reminds of something I heard recently from one of the Brethren with regards to disciplining children (and I think it applies to big children too) that even though it is hard to discipline them is better for the parents to do it than let society discipline them in a way we will not want to. I think you did the right and even though it is tough for now, is for his own benefit and he will see it one day. Love you!
Sol

FarSeer Introduction Introductions & Member Sharing - Page 55

Thank you, Soli, my friend. Yes, it's tough. I miss him terribly! But I know that he needs to have some time to adjust to the new way of life he has to lead - paying his own way, etc. Once he gets past that, and I hope he has the sense to see it, we may have a better relationship. However, on the other hand, he may decide that he's been the victim and will nurture that hurt until it is all blown out of proportion, which means we'll be estranged for years. So. It's up to him for now, although I will keep trying to contact him periodically.