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Pandora Introduction - Page 66

Hi Oliron. Thanks for the feedback. The thing is we have THREE SPECIAL NEEDS children. Their challenges do not go away as the times passes (as you mentioned), in many instances the symptoms are even more acute so what I'm trying to say is that this is a life-long challenge we will deal for the rest of our lives.

Well, I did not say I was unhappy but I am surely not as cheerful as I used to be (as explained in my blog) because of the serious issues I am dealing with every day. I think the issue is that there is no breaking point or respite. You MUST be healthy, you MUST get up in the morning and help and love your kids, no matter how YOU truly feel. They come first and you need to train them with the hope that one day they will be able to live independent lives. It's a huge responsibility that I do not take for granted. My blog is just projecting the daily stress and frustration to raise three special needs kids in a tiny little island with no family or support.

Thank you. In my case, I go through phases where I feel more confident and optimistic than other days. Thank God, I have a terrific husband who is always there for me and supports me when I need it. Sometimes all is needed is a simple hug and someone willing to wipe away your tears.

Introduction Pandora

Before I was a father of special needs children I did not understand. I also regrettably came to false conclusions in observing parents of such children because I did not understand. I encourage those of you who are reading LDS_forever's Blog to take the challenge and go to a center where they specifically deal with Autistic children and learn about it and what is like. When you do multiply that by the rest of your life and times three and then you will understand. There are also many Threads in the Psychology Board that explain this. Autism is NOT about maturity. It is not about age. It is the brain being wired different. In olden times children with Autism were considered possessed by the devil because of the way they act and move. That should help you get a small idea.

Pandora Introduction Sharing Member & Introductions

Hi LDS Forever. Yes, I was addressing your thread here. Jumping into the world is just a figure of speech. We had 5 children and now we have 15 grandchildren with one on the way...Currently we have a daughter and 4 grandsons living with us (that was the oh boy comment). She may reconcile with her husband, and they are dating again. They were married in the Bountiful Temple. My wife and I work there now.

Speaking of Italian relatives, when we lived in Arizona two ward members were from Italy. Ornella was from Florence, and Bettina was from Sicily. No surprise Italy is getting a Temple, there are strong members joining all the time in that land.

Page 66 Introduction Pandora

Name: Q

Comments: I was a member here but never kept up my account. I saw you had a public blog and decided to see what's new with you. I would like to first say I'm surprised that you had more children after your first son knowing that he was already diagnosed with autism. You have two more now? Maybe if you just had the one life will be a bit easier on you now, not so stressful. I know you can't reverse time just saying. Anyways I hope you are able to see to their needs you really have some big challenges there. Just my two cents.

Introduction Pandora

I understand what you're saying. In our case, is different. Our oldest son was diagnosed when he was 5/6 with autism, we thought he had ADHD only. When our second was born, he was completely different from the first one and we truly thought there was nothing wrong with him, hence we decided to try for our third. Our youngest said several words by the age of 12 months but regressed and does not speak at all at the moment (regressive autism? or just speech delay we don't know). Since we live in a very tiny island with very few professionals in the field, we have to wait many more years for a diagnose for the youngest two.

So, just because something may seem in a certain way ("why they keep having children?") it does not necessarily is that way. Often times, parents just don't know because the symptoms are shown much later.

Pandora Introduction

Q - If we all decided to stop having children just because one has special needs, there would be a lot fewer children in the world and a lot less joy. Not every child born to parents with one who has special needs turns out that way.

I think JB and LDS_Forever are an extraordinary pair of people.

Pandora Introduction - Page 66

Name: Q

Comments: Thanks for explaining I understand now. Have you chosen to stop having children now?

Pandora Introduction Introductions & Member Sharing - Page 66

I don't want to give a definitive answer for that because you never know what the future may hold but as the present time we are not having more children, it is unfortunate because I love large families, however we need to be realistic.