Yes, my 3-year-old daughter just taught me that. Every time we go to WalMart, she likes to get off the shopping cart and run all over the places. I hate to end up chasing her in the WalMart, and don't want to waste my time discipline her, so I usually make her stay in the cart. There was once she got tired of staying in the cart, so she stood up. I asked her to sit down like her brother, she wouldn't listen. I tried a few more times, and finally quit trying. For a while I didn't realize what could be very wrong because I was busy trying to get out of WalMart. Lo and behold, there was a big bump under the sliding doors, and as I noticed the cart tilted over, I pushed it back, trying to save my kids in the cart, but then seeing daughter fliping over the cart, head down, straight to the floor. I tried to catch her arm but it was too far for me.
Of course I heard the loud bang and the crack of her neck and her screaming and crying and everything. The good thing is she is ok but I feel awefully guilty, and still can't forgive myself. Anyway, I learned I have to be strict to her.
Hmmm hard question to answer JB, I think a person may be 'strong' in a point without the need of being 'cruel' or hurt the feeling of the other person because in the end you may have achieved the goal of making the point but also you have the risk of somebody being hurt.
I don't think there is any need to be cruel either. You can get your point across without hurting anybodys feelings. Plus, you are more likely to gain the other persons respect. If you are kind you show that not only do you care about about them, but you also respect their feelings.
While I don't think you need to be cruel truly, I think the statement "Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind" is meant to be a bit of an exaggeration in order to make a point. The point is, I think, that we do sometimes need to tell people things that are unpleasant. We can't always be "nice" in an effort not to hurt someone's feelings when the truth is something they need to hear in order to make a correction or adjustment of some sort in their life to make them better.
Also, some people just don't respond to subtle hints. Sometimes people need you to be direct and sometimes it is for their own good. However, I think it is best to always try to be gentle first.
Well, said tena! We can try to be kind, but there are just some things that, when said, will hurt someone's feelings. I don't think that's cruel, just the way it has to be sometimes.
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Also, some people just don't respond to subtle hints. |
i think that yes you somtimes it seems you are being cruel to be kind. like i had a friend and they just weren't getting it... they were acting like they were depressed and other stuff and finally i had to grab them by the shoulders and tell them exactly what they were doing to themselves and the people close to them... sure they had tears in their eye but they got the hint and started changing themselves back into the person we so love. so yes sometimes i think it is necessary to be cruel to be kind.