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What they want me to change? - Page 3

I understand the cultural background behind all this but like I said before, there is a limit, if they're your friend then they should be sensitive about your thoughts and feelings. They have no rights to talk about your husband (in my opinion of course ). I know they mean well, but like the old saying says "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

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Maybe I made it sound bad, eh?

No, you didn't make it sound bad, you just shared how you felt.

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By the way I reject their advice, I've already lost their friendship and they think I'm very ungrateful.

Sometimes, people just want their way. If they're truly friends they will stay with you no matter but the fact that they think you're ungrateful it proves the point that their intentions are not always for what they think is 'your own good'. Is good to know you are willing to defend and stand for what you think is right.

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The only time I had anyone ever say I should change was when my son was very small, less than one year old, we went to visit my father -- whom I was not very close to.  He was upset because I was nursing still, and told me I was "not a milk cow" and should stop right away.  A milk cow??  I had not seen this man in probably ten years, and he's going to tell me something like that?  I don't think so, buddy.  Thanks anyway.

As for my mother, she never gave me advice about anything.  And I could have used it!  She told me she didn't want to interfere.  Argh!

Roz

What they want me to change? Health & Special Psychology

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Sometimes, people just want their way. If they're truly friends they will stay with you no matter but the fact that they think you're ungrateful it proves the point that their intentions are not always for what they think is 'your own good'.

Hey, you're sooo right.  I do feel bad that who I really am disappointed them, but I do have to stick out for my own good.

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i see a couple threads involving weight, and it's the same thing for me. I dont know what gives people the impression that you actually CARE what they think about your weight. People always tell me "you putting on size" or "you lost real weight...you on a diet or what?"....as if it's any of their business!!  :

it is soooo frustrating!!  >:(

i have also commented about my friends' weight BUT i only do that if i know one of them are trying to lose weight. And even then, i only mention how great they look. Some people dont know the meaning of tact.

Of course, im fortunate to have a built-in "IGNORE" button...which i turn on whenever i hear this kinda nonsense  ;)

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i see a couple threads involving weight, and it's the same thing for me. I dont know what gives people the impression that you actually CARE what they think about your weight. People always tell me "you putting on size" or "you lost real weight...you on a diet or what?"....as if it's any of their business!!   it is soooo frustrating

Oh gosh Cookie, thank goodness you brought this topic! This is a Trini-thing definetly! My husband and I are tired to be hearing this all the time, what's wrong with this people?. I am 114 pound (yes, very small ) and some people even said I'm putting on weight : I'm tired, sick of hearing it and you know what bothers me the most? is that the people who tell you are sooooo big!!!! and just because I'm not mean, I don't say anything but if not, I would say "didn't you see yourself at the mirror today?" but I know that is bad, that's why I don't say anything but is really frustrating!

What they want me to change?

This is one of my "pet peeves"! How *dare* somebody say something so personal as to how fat they think you are. Grrrrr! Rude, rude, and more rude. I have only mentioned it, as cookie said, when I know someone has been trying to lose -- and only to give encouragement. I've never, and won't ever, say to someone... "Gee, you're looking pudgy today. Putting on a little tonnage, honey? What have you been eating???"

Roz

What want to change - Page 3

In Trinidad this is a whole topic of conversation itself...it is so annoyning
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What want to change Psychology Special & Health - Page 3

I would have to learn a whole new lesson in patience there! I'm not sure I could take it!

Roz