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What they want me to change? - Page 4

I cannot take it myself --> it really bothers me specially because it comes from people who are totally out of shape, not to mention that you wonder what's the purpose behind those comments?

change to want What

Unfortunately, I think people feel guilty and that is part of the reason for the comments. There is jealousy too, but often it is driven by guilt. An example:
I am not overweight. Like a lot of women, I would love to lose 5 pounds, 10 would be the max, but my bmi is below 25 and so I don't need lose weight, at the moment. Now, there have been times in my past when I did need to lose some weight, never a lot, but I have needed to lose some in the past. Whenever I would diet, my family members who are significantly overweight would get almost nasty about my dieting. They would say I didn't need to lose weight, etc. What I felt was they thought that if I thought I needed to lose weight, I must really think they need to lose weight so they assumed I was judging them. In fact, I never gave their weight a thought. It is a personal thing. I am comfortable at a certain weight. I don't easily maintain it, I need to work at it. Obesity definately runs in my family. I choose to work at it and that threatens them. I think this is a big reason why the people commenting about your weight are overweight themselves. They look at you and it either makes them also take an honest look at themselves, and they don't like what they see, or they believe you must be judging them especially because they are judging you.

Edited: tenaheff on 24th Nov, 2003 - 8:06pm

What they want me to change? Health & Special Psychology

Tena, that's so so so true!!!! Most people feel threaten about the way you look. They feel that if you're losing weight then they have to do something because it may look bad or they just feel jealous. I just ignore them as much as I can and I try to do my own thing, if somebody ask me how to lose weight, I try to give them my suggestions but if I not, I never interfer in issues like that, specially with women who tend to be oversensitive about this issue. -->