Close Topic Options

Divorced or Single?

The following is for mature discussion. I am not making fun of or being sarcastic about those that are single, divorced or widowed.

When you are single it means that you have not been married legally. When you are divorced it means that you have been seperated from marriage legally. Now here are some questions to consider:

1. If you are in a common-law relationship for many years are you still single?

2. If you are divorced are you single or divorced? Do you introduce yourself as, 'I am divorced' or as 'I am single'?

What does it matter? Think about it. If you are not married then aren't you available? Why say divorced? It almost seems that you are putting up a barrier or warning? Or is it that you feel there needs to be some term for that legallity that took place some time ago?

Added to this we can also ask, 'Is a widow single?' Aren't they now available for marriage?

Single Divorced

QUOTE

1. If you are in a common-law relationship for many years are you still single?

I don't know about other places but where I live, to have a common-law relationship, the couple would have to be together 7 years before it would be considered somewhat official.  But like I said, I don't know about other places.  

QUOTE

2. If you are divorced are you single or divorced? Do you introduce yourself as, 'I am divorced' or as 'I am single'?

If I was asked if I was married I would tell that I was divorced.  (of course this was long before Shady came into my life.  ;)  )  I wouldn't just volunteer that info about myself, I only said it when I was asked.

QUOTE

Why say divorced? It almost seems that you are putting up a barrier or warning? Or is it that you feel there needs to be some term for that legallity that took place some time ago

As for these questions....I am not sure why I told that I was divorced, when I was asked.  I guess back then I used it as a barrier.  I can't really explain why I used it as such.  I will have to sit and think about the why's and get back to ya on that one.  

Divorced or Single? Health & Special Psychology

QUOTE

1. If you are in a common-law relationship for many years are you still single?

Yes of course, in the sense of the 'formality' of it but not in the feeling's field

QUOTE

2. If you are divorced are you single or divorced? Do you introduce yourself as, 'I am divorced' or as 'I am single'?

Personally I think a divorced person is not single but divorced. I would introduce myself as 'divorced' but I do understand why other people would not choose to. I think the reason behind saying that I was divorced in the example above  is to let the other person know that I have experienced married life, it is not new to me, plus if I have children, even more...

QUOTE

What does it matter? Think about it. If you are not married then aren't you available? Why say divorced? It almost seems that you are putting up a barrier or warning? Or is it that you feel there needs to be some term for that legallity that took place some time ago?

It matters, we don't use the word only for technicality but to make a point..."I was married before" "I know what is  all about" "or "I have also children", I don't think is a barrier unless it was a bitter divorce, in that case, I understand it fully.

Single Divorced

I think you are legally single. I believe all a common law marriage does is give you some rights when attempting to end the relationship. Even these rights are not automatic like in a legal marriage, but must be fought for in Court. At least in the US.

It depends. First of all from a legal standpoint, I believe there are only two states of being, single or married. If single, it could be you have always been single, or a divorce or death of a spouse could have made you single, but you are still single. I do not believe "divorced" is a legal marital state. Tax returns ask, single or married, for example. I am single. The way I became single is through a divorce. Now, when I introduce myself, I wouldn't say, "hi, my name is Tena and I am divorced", nor would I say, "hi, my name is Tena and I am single." It would just be "hi, I my name is Tena, what's yours." If someone asked me if I was married, I would probably just say "no" or "no, I am not married." Now, in a dating situation I would certainly tell the person I was divorced rather than "just" single either on the first date or more likely, in the first stages of our even speaking to each other while developing some kind of a friendship. I am not trying to deceive anyone, by saying I am single rather than divorced, but the fact is I consider myself to be single, and it just happens that I am also divorced.

I believe a widow is also single, that person just happens to also be widowed just as I happen to be divorced.

So, in my opinion there can be many explanations for how we came to be single, but we are still single. So, though, it may be important for someone I am dating to know I have been married before, it is not necessary for everyone to know. This is why I sometimes list myself as single rather than divorced on this forum. I consider the fact that I am divorced to be an indication that I failed in marriage. I am not proud or happy about it and don't necessarily wish to share that with everyone.

Single Divorced

Just because a person is divorced or widowed doesn't always make them available for marriage. I don't consider myself in that light most of the time. Although I am technically, legally, morally free to marry, that doesn't mean I'm in the market to be married. I have a hard time feeling good about dating, let alone marriage!!

I like the way LDS_Forever said it -- to let others know that, "yes, I've been married before, I'm not new to this, and I have children." In other words, "don't underestimate me." In a lot of cases with men, that turns them in a completely different direction

In my opinion.
Roz
(Of course, I have the triple curse of being divorced 3 times.... maybe that is what holds me back...)

Divorced or Single?

Tena, thanks for sharing your feelings with us. Farseer, yes you have a very good point just because somebody is divorce or widow it doesn't make them 'available' (I don't like the word 'available' or 'he/she's taken' it sounds like if a person is a piece of meat) LOL
Tena also has a great point, for the law there is single or married people. Not widows, not divorced. I think a person should use 'single' or 'divorce' as the way they make them feel comfortable.

Divorced Single

O.K. Now I am all confused. I am single, divorced and sealed. Which do I pick? I chose single. But technically, am still sealed as well.

Divorced Single Psychology Special & Health

don't worry about it I know somebody who says is 'widow divorced'!