Close Topic Options

Low Self Esteem - Page 8

I used to have extremely low self esteem, as far back as I could remember fatherly figures have beaten the hell out of my mother or myself and called me a no good piece of crap. The only importance I had around the house was to be a kitchen female / house maid.

My mother was on welfare so I never had name brand clothes growing up, I always looked up to others and never felt the desire to be where they are. I seen how being #1 could corrupt people.

Lots of people befriended me but I still took my own path of individuality due to inferior complexes. It was only later in life when I started drinking and experimenting with drugs that I noticed how interesting people can be and how interested they were to actually hear your opinion and slowly rebuild confidence in myself. Drugs helped me establish a better sense of humor, social skills such as how to talk to members of the opposite sex, it gave me a huge boost in confidence, it made me want to be different and not blend in (in a good creative way), it allowed me to find hidden interests, and it made me appreciate life to the fullest.

Even now that I am sober for the most part I would have to say that I kept these qualities. Also I am not suggesting that anyone follow what I did, I just had no one to lean back on or to talk to so I turned down a wrong path and gained the right skills in a bad way.

Edited: Rissa on 28th Mar, 2010 - 9:08pm

Esteem Low

It is quite interesting, Rissa, that while drugs and alcohol can certainly be problematic, they can also serve an important function in an individual's social and emotional development. I know that is very un-pc - but there it is.

Now, that being said, I don't think that this is the right path for everyone (as you also pointed out, Rissa), and certainly is not needed for most people's social and emotional development. However, for those who are painfully shy, a couple of drinks can work wonders. I think it is useful to check the attributions that one makes about this also.

"Hey look, having a couple drinks showed me that I can be funny and social!" = positive attribution

"I need a couple of drinks in order to be funny and social." = negative attribution

Low Self Esteem Health & Special Psychology

I must truly agree with that statement. Sometimes people should come out from there comfort zone to experience what they're really up against. It's best that people stop living in fantasy and start living in reality, so in this way many of what we consider to be disappointments wouldn't be a disappointment but it'll be a lesson of development and the stepping stone for our lives.

Page 8 Esteem Low

I was not always self confident, but it did not bother me. You see I am naturally a loner, give me a computer filled with games or e-books and an outlook alarm to remind me to eat and I can go without making contact with another soul all the way into the next two to three years; and if the games keep upgrading I will probably never see the sky again. I am friendly, but self dependent.

A job initially required me to solve customer issues and process the necessary steps to allow for the resolution or follow up of the problem from my computer and a phone. Felt like the easiest job in the world, be kind or sympathetic depending on the case and process the data. Say good morning and good evening to co-workers, no conversation with actual physical beings necessary, wonderful! It was great for the first three years.

Then suddenly my boss changed my role, they figured that since I was so good at pulling and fixing the reports and dealing with the customers, a promotion was inevitable. I felt as though it was the worst day of my life cause I was not given a choice. They must have felt that they were doing me a favor pulling me out of my cubicle to visit the world. Each day got more and more difficult because I made requests, not demands and gave people choices at every turn. My first appraisal was awful, I was getting the work done, but I was doing most of it myself. I got more and more depressed and grew more and more unsure of myself daily, my self esteem was horribly low after a year.

Then I realised that even if I finally got it all right, the rewards meant very little to me, good salary, great resume, recognition? I just wanted more time to play games and learn new things while I pay the mortgage and stock up on groceries. So I quit the job and went back to the things that made me comfortable and a job that allowed me to stay in the position I worked best from.

Bottom line, it can really lower your self esteem if you are doing something that you don't enjoy or isn't good at. Society tends to demand that we have ambition and always strive to move upward, but better a great First Mate than a horribly inefficient Captain.

Esteem Low

Vali, great points. It is very important to love the kind of work you do after all, money isn't everything. Your well being is far more important.