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Sexual Harassment in Trinidad & Tobago - Page 10

Let's not exaggerate, now! It's not quite that bad, unless you live in Woodbrook or somewhere that places you next to a particularly busy street!

As a man, you of all people should know that not all our men are like that, and even if it as high a percentage as 50% of the men - it is not because of 'society at large' but because of the way they were brought up in their own homes!

I say this, because recently I was at a birthday dinner for a friend of mine, at a very nice restaurant in POS. A relative of hers had brought along their 6 year old son. These are 'nice' folks, from a respected well-to-do family, but her son misbehaved, was rude, and even slapped me on the butt at the dinner table, and all the mother said was, "look how cute - he's like a little man, isn't he?"

My brothers, my cousins, my nephews - any of them would be ashamed to behave that badly in public, even at 6 years old, and believe me their mothers would never have stood for that!

If we raise our children properly, then 'society at large' will improve. If we think it's 'cute' when they're rude and obnoxious - look out, because society in the next 20 years will be just that.

I still believe that sexual harassment in the workplace is a far more important 'bone to chew', right now.

Tobago and Trinidad Harassment Sexual

I am not one to exaggerate nor exasperate the truth. With my own eyes I have seen this. I have also in times passed witnessed my mother, yes my mother being heckled! What is more is when they do it from a distance. However, I am guessing that you are the kind of person that may take maxis / taxis much or live (or pass through) in an area where there are many limers. Having to deal with both, which is a norm here, puts you in 'harms' way as it were. In other words, if you walk the streets you feel the beat of the streets.

On one hand you accuse me of exaggerating and at the same time you give this story?

I do not understand why you keep emphasizing that. The thread is not about 'sexual harassment while on the road', it is about sexual harassment in T&T period, yes, this includes the workplace. You may just be witnessing it more there, and that is fine to emphasize it there too, but we are all talking from experiences, and that may not be the same for everyone.

Sexual Harassment in Trinidad & Tobago Caribbean / Tobago & Trinidad

I think you misunderstood my little anecdote.

That child is from a "good" Westmoorings home, goes to the "best" school and his family is well respected in the community. His bad behaviour isn't because of the way 'society' is, or I'd expect that sort of behaviour from my brothers, cousins, nephews...

His behaviour is a direct result of what his mother thinks is "manly" behaviour for her son to exemplify. She not only condones, but encourages him to disrespect the grown women around him.

This is typical of a certain subset of Trini women... the type that tells their daughters to do the house chores because that's "women's work". The type that teaches her son that he should be served, hand and foot because he is after all, a man.

It is virtually impossible to legislate against the man on the street, because - who would enforce it?

It is possible, to legislate against gender discrimination in the workplace... from there, it might just trickle down, when future mothers realize that they're not just here to make the coffee and answer the telephone. Maybe if we respected women in the workplace, it might translate to respect in the homes, and on the streets?

Page 10 Tobago and Trinidad Harassment Sexual

I agree, but would like to take it one step higher and say that it will be good if the women in T&T (in general) will first respect themselves, and then they in turn can demand the respect which they deserve. This can be illustrated by your Westmoorings friend... she has little respect for herself and thus passes it on to her children who return little respect for other women. It is a cultural thing and must be weeded out. How do you weed out a culture - you teach a better way and help them to see that better way. Where can this teaching take place: schools, churches and so forth, but firstly from home.

It will not be hard if the police and social workers do their job, but often it is the same police that are heckling the women, again, I talk from experience!

Tobago and Trinidad Harassment Sexual

Trinichic, you keep separating society from individual households, but, in fact they are one in the same. Just because you were raised one way doesn't mean that your actions are not based off society. Your parents were influenced by their surroundings, and chose to raise you the way they did. Here is a definition of society:

a group of interacting people who share a geographical region, a sense of common identity, and a common culture

So, to say that society is separate is just putting blinders on

Interestingly enough, his behavior is based on society's influence on his parents. It is also based on what is acceptable for a man to do in Trinidad's society. I hope that made sense.

Sexual Harassment in Trinidad & Tobago

While in Mayaro with my fiance' and her brother and his girlfriend, we got out of the car, and walked in a single file line to a mini-grocery. There was a maxi parked in front of the store and this older, dirty man probably in his 50's leaned out of the maxi and started yelling at my fiance' that she was "built like a machine" and he said something to the effect of her being "fine as a needle on a thread". I'm not sure I heard him exactly, or what his exact meaning was... but I know a sexual harrasment when I hear one.

You ask who would enforce such laws aimed at curbing this? I can tell you this. Had we been where I am from... I would have pulled this man out the window of that maxi and taught him some manners. Unfortunately, I had already been warned by her brother that you are not permitted to stand up for your rights or those of your spouse or sister for fear of being gang-beaten, shot, and left for dead while the female you are defending is also beaten or raped. He told me that the only option was to simply ignore the problem and walk away.

This problem is most definitely caused by the society which teaches men that this behavior is normal and therefore acceptable and that if you don't approve of it, you must keep your mouth shut and ignore it. I have to say, it turned my stomache to walk past that man and not say a thing to him. It went against every principle instilled in me by MY society and culture which teaches young men that you either treat a woman with respect or you will be TAUGHT some respect by the men around you.

Sexual Harassment Trinidad & Tobago - Page 10

I am not sure if I would take it to that extreme, (there may have been an isolated case, but it is not the norm) I for one have made a few remarks back at those who were doing so when I walked with my mother, yes that is right, my mother. Those willing to do so are really the rudest types, most times if a woman is accompanied with a male, especially a serious looking male, then they will hold their tongue (but their eyes still move of course). So if they do say anything I will make fun of them by saying "I do not like men" (that really gets them ticked off). In one incident they got angry, huffed and puffed, but I am no walk over so they left it at that. Next time they remained silent.

That is the problem with this country, everyone remains silent, they do not speak up, they like the punishment dished out to them it seems.

This whole place sickens me because these things are not done by the few BUT the majority. Those who think it does not happen have either become too used to it, accepted it or do not know much better. Trinidad is yet to understand the blessing of the title woman and pay more regard for her.

Sexual Harassment Trinidad & Tobago Trinidad & Tobago / Caribbean - Page 10

Shane, sorry to hear you have experienced a little bit of what women experience here on a daily basis even though most of them do not accept and some of them even think is "cute". I do not know your fiance's brother, but with all due respect, his answer to you is the typical "trini" answer for most things. "Don't speak up" "Let it go" "That's nothing" and so. Extremely laid back people who will not speak up for their rights at all, so do not think they would speak for you or defend you at all, that's reality. I do not know if it is because I am foreigner but I can't stand that, many times I have bite my tongue when walking down the road and seeing a group of men telling me things but in more than one ocassion I gave them a piece of my mind because I was just too tired for the non-sense.

The difference between men in Trinidad and in other countries is that men here look and say things to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN they see: fat, thin, young, pregnant...yes pregnant, old, even grandmothers and women with babies on hand! (it happened to me recently) and I have seen men telling things on the street to a big pregnant woman. It is just plain disgusting...so when women here say that it is not sexual harassment and the typical stupid answer you get is: "Nah, that's how men are here" I do not know who makes me more sick.

Men in general and some women too, think most of the time with their pants rather than with the little brain that it is left of them.