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Sexual Harassment in Trinidad & Tobago - Page 2

Well, I'm glad I saw this. I think many Trini men are very humorous about the way they call out to a woman. Hanging out with my Trini women friends taught me a few things. First, my friends always had something CLEVER to say back. It never seemed like a 'threatening' situation to me, more like a bantering situation. The guy would say something and they would say something and the guy would say something and we'd all get a laugh out of it. If the guy was being a jerk, they would cuss him out, but smartly. In short, they knew how to handle themselves.

Its totally a cultural thing. The country I come from, you're taught to 'ignore strange men'. If a man doesn't know you, he isn't 'supposed' to address you, so in that context it makes sense. Not that I like that kind of set up - ignoring each other doesn't seem like a good way to go about daily life. Which is why I prefer Trinidad where people are friendlier and there are fewer hang ups.  

First day or two in Trinidad, I acted like I'd been taught to all my life "ignore strange men". It was so automatic it took me a while to realize that here people are just friendlier and say hello and good evening even if they don't know you. I felt pretty stupid! So I started saying hello back and discovered one's day goes pretty pleasantly that way. I tried not to sweat it if some guy said "hello angel" or something like that, and having experienced serious, mocking, jeering, physical kind of harrassment in my country, "hello angel" and a smile seemed pretty mild. Why would that upset me? They never tried to grope me or get sleazy, maybe flirtatious but that's about it. And I'm not egocentric enough to say 'They were alllll over me" or anything because they weren't and I wasn't looking for them to be .

ONLY ONCE did I have a bad experience. I was walking through one of alleys that are in the back of Charlotte Street. Was walking through looking for my friend, not especially stopping anywhere. As I'm walking, a man calls out to me from behind. The dialogue went as follows.

Man : Hello Indian
Me : hello (smiling, then walking on)
Man : I SAID HELLO.
Me (looking behind, thinking maybe he didn't hear me?) : yes I know, hello (smile, keep walking).
Man (angrily, loudly) : Dyam Indian can't say a hello.
Me : (too shocked to say a thing at first, then the lessons kicking in) : Dyam Trini can't HEAR!

The people sitting in the adjoining shops (of all conceivable races) smiled approvingly and I was pleased as punch. Also that I wasn't goaded into being correspondingly racial by him referring to my ethnicity.

My advice - watch how Trinidadian women handle themselves and you'll understand everything about how best to handle aggressive or annoying men. I honestly didn't think there were that many in trinidad. try Venezuela or India - they're nightmares in comparison.

Tobago and Trinidad Harassment Sexual

I am sure it can be for them, but it is no joke. It is a bad one. Unless everyone laughs then its a case of the joke is on you which in this case is a woman just trying to pass by.

Yes, the 'culture' here seems to slack on respect for women, but note... these things only happen at certain places and times.

I have lived in Venezuela so I know it is like that, but any Venezuelan coming here would not want to admit it.

Honestly though, I think men that do that are just full of their ego and have not looked at a mirror lately.

Sexual Harassment in Trinidad & Tobago Caribbean / Tobago & Trinidad

Well, of course you're speaking from your own experience. I personally don't see the purpose of addressing someone who never was introduced in the first place. Not to mention that is rude. To cuss them back is a good way to handle things? I think it's a terrible way to handle the whole situation if you ask me...it could be totally avoided by not giving to them what they wanted it in the first place.

Culture is anything that a person does. But does it make it right?. I also come from a country where decent girls don't speak to strange men in the streets. Now, if the girls are not decent or of a good family then they will speak to these guys and even have a laugh with them. And if you think it seriously, it's not a matter of how friendly Trinidadians are. I am a very friendly person but I don't see the need for a man calling me 'sexy' or harassing me with sweet talk while I walk with my 3 years old son! Who the heck they think they are?. Don't care how friendly they're, they're not supposed to talk to me because I don't know them and nobody introduced me to them before. Plus, the things that they say are far from just a decent friend talk...what would be the need for the use of the word 'sexy' 'beautiful' ? just 'friendly' talk? do you go around telling a man while he pass 'sexy, handsome' because you want to be just...hmm...'friendly'? That's plain disrespectful and rude for me.
The example of the bad experience you had is a prove to me on things that could be avoided, of course, it can happen to anybody but it proves to me the attitude of Trinidadian men who think they can talk to you and you MUST answer them back... even when you don't even know who the heck they are!.

I personally do not agree and like how Trinidadian women handle things, including their relations with men. They encourage a lot the kind of behavior of some of the men in here, how they do that? by smiling back, wanting more attention, etc. If they have high standards they should not talk to these men period. Just because in Venezuela or India is worst, it doesn't make it acceptable in Trinidad.

Page 2 Tobago and Trinidad Harassment Sexual

I am a(an): Resident of T&T
Current Location: port of spain
Favorite TT Food: jerk pork

I'm a traveller........, lived in many verry different countries.....and my impression about TT and the TT man problem is that they are just desperate....cous women looking on the street like whore but they are not....they sending messages......sexy physical features...and all that enhenchemnet with g-string and half t-shirt.....the better looking males are feed up with that game and usually turning to buttyman....and girls are just feeling guilty becouse of that.....verry bad communication from both side....they just try....what's wrong with that.....until nobody is getting physically hurt......

[edit]Admin: Edited words and replaced with 'physical features'. No need to be detailed thanks. Remember this forum is for the yung uns' as well. Thanks.[/edit]

Tobago and Trinidad Harassment Sexual

I am a(an): Resident of T&T

I thought we have freedom of speech...until they don't tuch you or harrast you physically...they have to have the freedom to express their selve.....

Message Edited! Admin: A healthy reading of the rules you agreed to BEFORE you signed up here would help enlighten that thought process. You can revisit via the link 'rules' in the top menu.

Sexual Harassment in Trinidad & Tobago

Awillson, have you ever heard about psychological/verbal harrasment? So you're saying that ONLY a rape for instance could be consider harrasment in your point of view (since there is an actual physically harm)?! If so, I have lots of things to say, but I will wait for your answer first.

Sexual Harassment Trinidad & Tobago - Page 2

Awillson seems to believe that verbal sexual harrassment on the streets is a game between men and women and that women encourage it by the way they dress. Obviously he (I'm assuming Awillson is a 'he') approves of it and I wouldn't be too off the loop here if I say that he probably engages in such behaviour.
LDS_forever, some men never fail to amaze me by the nonsense that actually spew out of their mouths. You have to wonder about their thought processes or lack thereof !

Sexual Harassment Trinidad & Tobago Trinidad & Tobago / Caribbean - Page 2

Well AWillson's tone before I edited the message indicating the obvious sensationalism he/she was getting out of it I think confirms that Alana. AWillson is one, but what about that previous poster, Guava, that was actually trying to rationalize such behavior, and in some ways, even developing an answer that made the whole act to seem normal.