Yesterday I was speaking with some friends in Church about how Trinidadians do not say to their family members, "I Love You". Growing up you never hear mom or da say, "Son (or Daughter) I love you."
Why is that? Is it a cultural thing? Have Trinidadians grown up without love or is it they are to afraid to express it? What do you think is the cause of that?
I think is not a cultural thing, I think most of the people in Trinidad come from broken families, some of them were not even raised by their own parents . It is very sad, I always hear hard stories about people growing up...so if they never felt loved before how they can express it to their own children?.
The words I Love You are a commital words and many people don't want to be committed. and many think to just say a simple thing like thanks cost them money or a commitment to something. So many people loose the valueable things by not saying the simple things, like I Love You, thank you, please, have a nice day, its simple respect and courtesys, you don't need to say the I Love you to strangers but to family members it a eccensal word to keep member close to eash other. and it breaks down walls that are built up during a days problems outside the home. it also makes some people friends, and others close friends. just imagin heaven where there is no one who loves anybody.
and also the word love helps us tolerate things that are short-comings of others.
Thats one think I have noticed early o'clock we trinis cant say I love you...I mean in my whole life I have no recollection of ever being told while growing up or even telling anyone that I love them..I know that it is a bad thing its something that I am currently working on but nevertheless its hard because those words are not spoken often u feel very strange saying them I know that the few attempts I have made toward family members have made me feel very awkward its not I would say due to the lack of feeling from the parent to the children or between siblings etc but the general consensus is that though it is not voiced it is to be understood cause hey blood is blood right and you love family no matter wha is jus you don't actually say the words in the trini way of thinking...I actually had one of my friends from the united states trying to coach me into saying the words but its still hard ...well at least I know that it is something I have to change if not for me then for my children if I have any..because though I want them to feel the love I have for them I also want them to hear it expressed and also for them to be able to express it to others verbally..cause sometimes words are just as important as actions especially to impressionable children growing up in the kind if world we are living in right now...
Yes, I too have changed my outlook towards saying it. My wife taught me a lot about it when we were married and I have continued since (of course) I do not want my son growing up being scared or uncomfortable saying 'I love you'.
Wayned, wow I loved your words in this thread. Very wise words my friend. Thanks for sharing it.
Same with you Trini!
And JB, I'm glad your wife could help you to say I love you more often, she didn't know that actually....
I love you!
Looking back at this Thread, and especially what Trinibabydoll wrote made me realize even more why our youth behave the way they do. They really are not shown love, in fact, many of them do not know what love really is, and so simple acts of kindness or caring are looked upon as being weak or stupid.
QUOTE (JB @ 1-Dec 06, 11:19 PM) |
and so simple acts of kindness or caring are looked upon as being weak or stupid. |