There were a few things that need to be changed:
1. Your attribute bonus and penalties.
2. Your AC.
3. Another +1 to your attack roll due to your Weapon Focus feat.
That was all I see that needs changing. After sorting that out your character is a go.
Edited: Oliron on 23rd Mar, 2010 - 1:27am
S'okay with me, hadn't expected a brother, interesting - my basic premise is Val is posing as a knight and was bumped around from one kingdom to another, all to distant family or just friends, until going it alone, so how would a brother fit into that?
Player: Thomaslee
Name: Gabriel Mechtilde, brother of Valdalyn Mechtilde
Race: Human
Age: 20
Class: Level 1 Paladin
Alignment: Lawful Good
Religion: Heironeous
Hit Points: 13
Strength: 15, 2
Dexterity: 14, 2
Constitution: 15, 3
Intelligence: 16, 2
Wisdom: 14, 2
Charisma: 17, 3
Fortitude: 2+3 =5
Reflex: 0+2 =2
Will: 0+2 = 2
Initiative: 2+0 =2
Melee: 1+2+1 =4
Ranged: 1+2+0 =3
Armour Class: 10+2+5 =17
Money: gp 1, sp 6
Skills:
diplomacy 4+3 =7
handle animal 4+3 =7
heal 3+2 =5
knowledge nobility 3+3 =6
knowledge religion 3+3 =6
ride 4+2 =6
sense motive 3+2 =5
Equipment:
Dawnbringer: Longsword (Magic Weapon; attacking +1)
Chain shirt +4 (1)
Backpack 2lb (1)
Bedroll 5lb (1)
Blanket 3lb (1)
Bottle (1)
Canvas 1lb (1)
Ink (1)
Inkpen (1)
Lamp 1lb (1)
Mirror (1)
Oil 1lb (3)
Paper (8)
Pouch, belt 3lb (1)
Rations 1lb (10)
Rope (50ft) 5lb (1)
Sewing needle (1)
Soap 1lb (5)
Waterskin 4lb (1)
Whetstone 1lb (1)
Holy Symbol, silver 1lb (1)
Cold weather outfit 7lb (1)
Explorer's outfit 8lb (1)
Warhorse, light (1)
Riding saddle 25lb (1)
Saddlebags 8lb (1)
Feats/Specials:
armor proficiency light
armor proficiency medium
armor proficiency heavy
martial weapon proficiency
mounted combat
shield proficiency
simple weapon proficiency
weapon focus
Aura of good
detect evil, smite evil
Languages:
Common
Draconic
Celestial
Sylvan
Okay Oliron I think I fixed everything.
JPatt, how about this: "Val is posing as a knight and was bumped around from one kingdom to another, all to distant family or just friends", they are both bumped from one kingdom to another. Then the part with her going at it alone, it could work like this: You see after Gabriel found out his little sister had run off to be a knight, he followed. After catching up they had a long talk, Valdalyn was upset as she thought Gabriel didn't trust to become a knight without his help, Gabriel upset that Valdalyn couldn't have at least of told him she was going. They are also both stubborn. Gabriel refuses to leave her, Valdalyn refuses to go back, so they decide to travel together.
It appears as your Con. Should be +2 and your Wis. A +3, this may change your Fort/HP/Will bonus as well. Also I have just noticed you own a Light Warhorse. These cost 150 gold, after doing some math I think you may have over shot the amount of gold you start with. Beyond that I am really liking the way your character is described and everything. Feel free to post when ready.
12-13, +1 / 14-15, +2 / 16-17, +3 / 18-19, +4
Edited: Oliron on 23rd Mar, 2010 - 8:39pm
Player: Thomaslee
Name: Gabriel Mechtilde, brother of Valdalyn Mechtilde
Race: Human
Age: 20
Class: Level 1 Paladin
Alignment: Lawful Good
Religion: Heironeous
Hit Points: 13
Strength: 15, 2
Dexterity: 14, 2
Constitution: 15, 2
Intelligence: 16, 3
Wisdom: 14, 2
Charisma: 17, 3
Fortitude: 2+2 =4
Reflex: 0+2 =2
Will: 0+2 =2
Initiative: 2+0 =2
Melee: 1+2+1 =4
Ranged: 1+2+0 =3
Armour Class: 10+2+5 =17
Money: gp 40, sp 6
Skills:
diplomacy 4+3 =7
handle animal 4+3 =7
heal 3+2 =5
knowledge nobility 3+3 =6
knowledge religion 3+3 =6
ride 4+2 =6
sense motive 3+2 =5
Equipment:
Dawnbringer: Longsword (Magic Weapon; attacking +1)
Chain shirt +4 (1)
Backpack 2lb (1)
Bedroll 5lb (1)
Blanket 3lb (1)
Bottle (1)
Canvas 1lb (1)
Ink (1)
Inkpen (1)
Lamp 1lb (1)
Mirror (1)
Oil 1lb (3)
Paper (8)
Pouch, belt 3lb (1)
Rations 1lb (10)
Rope (50ft) 5lb (1)
Sewing needle (1)
Soap 1lb (5)
Waterskin 4lb (1)
Whetstone 1lb (1)
Holy Symbol, silver 1lb (1)
Cold weather outfit 7lb (1)
Explorer's outfit 8lb (1)
Feats/Specials:
armor proficiency light
armor proficiency medium
armor proficiency heavy
martial weapon proficiency
mounted combat
shield proficiency
simple weapon proficiency
weapon focus
Aura of good
detect evil, smite evil
Languages:
Common
Draconic
Celestial
Sylvan
Okay Oliron I think I fixed everything.
JPatt, how about this: "Val is posing as a knight and was bumped around from one kingdom to another, all to distant family or just friends", they are both bumped from one kingdom to another. Then the part with her going at it alone, it could work like this: You see after Gabriel found out his little sister had run off to be a knight, he followed. After catching up they had a long talk, Valdalyn was upset as she thought Gabriel didn't trust to become a knight without his help, Gabriel was upset that Valdalyn couldn't have at least of told him she was going. They are also both stubborn. Gabriel refuses to leave her, Valdalyn refuses to go back, so they decide to travel together.
Please Post just the edited parts of your message and not simply copy over and over again just to show a few changes.
Your HP should be 12 and your Fort +5. Sorry, I am just wanting to try and keep everything strait and fair. Don't worry about posting the changes I will save them on my home file. Just make the changes on your home file if you have one.
Sounds okay to me Thomas Lee, I've never played a cooperative story with anyone else other than as distant cousins, it doesn't really make it any different but it's still a first I guess. And welcome to Oliron's game.