Close Topic Options

[Searching] Rushing RMs to be married? - Page 2

My parents started trying to get me married while I was still on my mission. They had a couple people set aside for me to date once I returned, and they even told me that they were fine if I were to marry them. Well, I am someone that if I feel forced to do something I don't do it, or I procrastinate. I know that is not what we are supposed to do, but that is just how I react to things. I went on my mission late because of it, and I have been home for nearly five years, which is still not that long-no matter what some people try to tell me, and I still rarely date because I feel like I HAVE to get married. I just like knowing that I am in control of my life. I have seen too many people feel that push, and so they do rush into it. True, many are actually happy and are glad they made that decision, but I have also seen too many people who really weren't ready, and now they are miserable, or they got a divorce.

My mission president did tell me my next mission was to get married, but not to rush it. Everybody else that came home with me he didn't add that last clause, they have all been married for three years...

married to RMs Rushing Searching

Yes, take your time, but at the same 'time' do not make it end up being a tool of the other side to help you feel more comfortable being single. I think (and of course that really counts for nothing in your life) that if you set a goal for yourself and act on it for yourself then you know you are doing it because YOU want to and not because others are dictating it.

I was married six years after my mission because like you I wanted to be sure I was marrying the right person, but at the same time I also checked myself to ensure I was not putting it off just because it was easier to do so. A good way to see which you are doing is your prayers... are you praying to meet the right person, or do you not even mention it to Heavenly Father? This will measure its importance to you. All the best in 'hunting'.

[Searching] Rushing RMs to be married? Studies Doctrine Mormon

I didn't even consider the pressure put on guys. My sister had some hard, hard trials in her life because she felt like everyone was pressuring her to get married the older she got, she didn't go on a mission, but she ended up falling away from the church because she felt the pressure was wrong, I believe it's wrong too, why can't we let people get married when they want to?

Page 2 married to RMs Rushing Searching

People can get married when they want to, I believe the problem stems from several things:

1. Members are sometimes to nosey
2. Parents are worried about their children getting old and not marrying
3. Leaders want to utilize a member, but they need to be married first
4. Some might consider or worry that you might fall to breaking the law of chastity outside of marriage or dating someone outside of the Church

In other words... they hope for the best for you, but of course, they must understand it all rests on choice and nagging doesn't necessarily influence the best decisions.