Oh yes, I decided to go to the Relief Society Enrichment Meeting last Saturday. I will surely never forget it. The motto of the Activity was "To get to know Him". Every sister was supposed to bring a picture of her husband or boyfriend and shared a little bit how they met and how they got to know them.
We were around ten sisters. One of the sisters (who was NOT a member at that time) said that she was 33 years old when she first met her (now) husband, he was 19 at that time. She was friends with his sister and had gone over to spend the night with her female friend. She said that the guy was living in a hut and they (her friend and her) slept on the floor while he slept on the small cot.
She got up about 2:00 am feeling for sex and climbed (I think she said the bed was taller than her) onto the guy's bed and sunk right into the middle of the bed and they had sex. The next morning her friend said I hope nothing happened between you and him last night. She never saw him again.
He called her 7 years later, to meet her by now HE WAS MARRIED(and I am not sure if he was separated from his wife as yet). She was a member of the Church then and she explained that to him...well...when you think the story is going to improve, she said that after his separation from his wife they both went to live together. (She was only disfellowshipped despite the fact that she lived with this guy for years) but the point is not even that...the point is: What is the purpose of all that information? In what way it uplifting the sisters? (even new members were there!) Is it her version of "how she got to know him?". I was shocked and looking at the sister's faces they did NOT seem to surprised which concerned me more!
Then another sister with a high calling in the District (whose husband is the guy who came to Church with a cutlass to threaten a Counselor of the Branch Presidency, remember?) Well, she said she knows her husband likes to talk (with OTHER women) that he is a "talker" and that he likes to "tease" other women but that's all he does -TALK because at the end of the day, he always come home to her (she said this 3 times while laughing).
Am I mad or these women are NUTS?! PLEASE, tell me it is not me. I feel I am going INSANE.
You are not going nuts. All of that is completely inappropriate - in any church. However, a very large group of people, throughout the world, have come to think that sex is primarily a pleasurable pastime with no real consequences. I am not surprised to hear that in some places this attitude is strong among church members.
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I am not surprised to hear that in some places this attitude is strong among church members. |
Obsessions
Sometimes I wonder what the heck is going on? Today we went to Church and I just cannot take it anymore. (If you are just reading this, please look at my last post before this one within this thread). There is this guy who is autistic (he used to be a member here, his username was group10) Even though he is disabled he is very smart, he can use a computer better than a lot of people, can talk, move around and so on. He is OBSESSED with me and my family. I just do not know what to do. He posts information of my family over the internet, our phone number, our full names, the names of my kids and I basically have to go around googling my name to see what information he posts around. He was told NOT to do it in a very strong manner but he continues. He stares at me during the whole Sacrament meeting and Sunday School (EVEN when JB tells him NOT to) He will wait until JB leaves to come closer and watch me, stalk me. He will wait for me after Relief Society is over and will just follow me around and listen to my conversations or just directly look at my body lustfully. I cannot recount the many times I told him about it but he won't stop. JB talked to the Branch President about it today but he did not take him on at all. You see, this guy is a member. Yep, I do not know how he was baptized years ago but he is a member and holds the Aaronic Priesthood. *sigh* Today he was unbelievable, waiting every second for JB to be out of sight and he will come and stalk me.
Last Sunday in Conference he even pulled out this cel phone with a camara and started taking pictures of me. Who knows what he will do with those pictures!
When I searched online about the things he says and does, he is fascinating with breastfeeding. *sigh* He is a pervert in every sense of the word. I used to feel sorry for him but I do not anymore because I know he has some sort of control (I have seen him before, a lot of his disability is a mechanism he uses to fool people, I know I have seen him talking normally and he is very smart) but he chooses not because he does not care and wants his way too much. His mother is less active (she cannot take him on and basically got a computer with full access to the Internet, cable, latest cel, etc) You can well imagine what he does online and why he is getting worst?
We haven't done anything to encourage this type of behavior, we do not even shake his hand anymore but he continues to stalks me wherever he sees me and the Branch President is the one bringing him to Church. I am sure, JB will rant about it or tell you more if he has a chance.
How can you feel the Spirit in such an environment? I feel like every time I go out to Church is like a workout. My body, my mind feel so tired when I leave the building and I know I am not supposed to feel that way, yet you share these things with the leaders and they just brush you off in a second. It is so frustrating.
What to do about it?, is the question I always have in my mind. As I was leaving Church, I saw Primary kids running up and down with the Sacrament trays (a privilege and duty only of the Priesthood!) The parents right there, talking to other members but nobody said anything until I went and talked to the kids about it.
Right now, my whole neck is hurting me and I feel very discouraged. What am I supposed to do if am I supposed to do anything at all? Or should I ignore this, Sunday after Sunday and hope for a better future?
Lds_Forever, my friend ~ I can't even imagine these things!
First, these women discussing essentially anonymous pre-marital sex as if it's just a normal way to get to know a man is bizarre! Certainly not any kind of uplifting way to discuss how she met her husband, and the fact that no one in leadership stopped her in her tale says even more. There was obviously no remorse for her actions. I'm amazed at some of the happenings you detail here.
Second, this man who is stalking you needs to be stopped! What can you do if even the district leadership won't help you? Do you take it to an area representative, or the First Presidency? That's very scary, could end up being a danger to you and your family. Take action, and take it very seriously. Move up the chain of command within the church and get the help that is needed to protect you all.
Farseer said:
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Take action, and take it very seriously. Move up the chain of command within the church and get the help that is needed to protect you all. |
I guess everyone reading this will understand that going to Church here is literally a workout. It reminds me of those work mills they had during the early industrialization period where you just came, did a job, hoped to survive and left. Imagine going to a place where you have to watch out for predators, avoid off key comments, sexual talk, worldly comments taken as doctrine and so forth - really sometimes I have to talk to myself and explain that this is an island, the culture and mentality cause the people to feel this is normal and that I am the one who is different.
Often when someone less active talks about these things I cannot help but agree, but I do not tell them so as I know we still need the sacrament, BUT there is so much to be left out that one is literally safer in their own home.
I do not think there is a solution for this problem really. I know you think that sounds faithless, but I have seen the Church start with four people to what it is now, and I can tell you that the Culture here causes many problems, what is more is that the Culture is not left at baptism, it seems to be encouraged throughout the Member's time in the Church. If you try to change it or speak up about it you are shot down or ignored because you are trying to be 'too good or 'too perfect'.
Wow, I am speechless! I can't even comprehend....What about your country's law? I might be a little drastic, but if nothing seems to help, I would consider taking it to the police. But, of course, that will make a lot of "noise". Again, this is unbelievable. I really hope this will come to an end....