Close Topic Options

Mormon Gossip - How to stop Gossip in Church - Page 2

QUOTE

I think gossip, which seems to be a big part of human nature (born of curiousity usually not with harmful intent) is something that might take more than one talk for people to really see the harm it does and see that they are a part of the problem.  Then, maybe they will want to be a part of the solution as well.

I think you are on the right track here, Tenaheff.  Gossip is natural to many people, and then not so natural to others.  I know that I really don't gossip much and I'm usually out of the loop of all the gossip because of that.  So, maybe along with the talking about gossip in classes and in sacrament meeting the bishop could also gather "helpers" who would tactfully stop others when they begin to gossip.

I know when others around me begin to gossip many times I don't participate.  Sadly I can't say I never participate because I am humand and there are times I have been guilty of gossip.  Anyway, one of the tactics I use to stop gossip is to say something like, "I wonder what you guys say about me when I'm not here."  

What are some other tactics some of you have used to stop others around you when they begin to gossip?

Church Gossip stop to - Gossip Mormon

QUOTE

What are some other tactics some of you have used to stop others around you when they begin to gossip?

When somebody comes to tell something really bad about the person and I know is not true I said 'Have you shared with her your feelings?' ....we know the answer right? lol

Mormon Gossip - How to stop Gossip in Church Studies Doctrine Mormon

While I would never presume to be as spiritually minded as a Bishop nor have the right to inspiration I can give my personal take on such a situation.

First, having heard the gossip myself and not necessarily relying on the word of another I would consult with individual members effected by the gossip, and explain to them to the best of my ability the importance of the Gospel, the meaning it has for us as individual and hopefully assist them in understanding that we are all human and prone to error and that no matter what is said about them that the Lord is who counts and it is his opinion that we should seek after.

Second, I would then having heard it for myself confront the member who actually was taking part in the gossip and explain to them how it might harm others, how they make other people feel rather it is true or not.  Merely because something is true doesn't mean that others feel good about what is said even if it is in their benefit.

Third, I would then take the time to consult with my Counselors and the Relief Society and Elder's Quourm Presidencies.  These are the individuals who will most effectively deal with the situation by setting the example for the ward.  By themselves refusing to take part in the gossip others will be less inclined to share gossip with these leaders and hopefully by extention learn that gossip is wrong.

Fourth, I would then speak to the youth of the Ward, explaining to them that others must be valued, that attention must be given to those in need and that it is important that we magnify our Priesthood by loving others.

Fifth, and the most difficult thing I would do would be to deal with the problem head on, having already dealt with it individually.  I would then take the time during Sacrament, Priesthood and Relief Society to teach from the scriptures and the words of the prophets the problems with gossip, and attempt to explain that gossip rather intended for good or bad is still gossip and that we should do our best to live Christ-like lifes and not to gossip.  

Understanding that gossiping is a personal trait of many people and that we each are on different levels of spirituality I would not presume to tell others that they should not gossip or that it is evil to do so, nor would I admonish the Saints to not gossip, but instead I would speak with them as a loving friend, father and Bishop.  I would strive with them, and show them by example what we should do.  Leading by example is better then telling.

It is my belief that for someone to actually change a behavior that they need to be taught the principle, then they need to be shown the example, and then they need to be loved and helped in changing their behavior.  Simply teach the principle against gossip in Sacrament, Relief Society and Priesthood.  In my opinion there is no reason to get up in any meeting and to say to the members: "You are a bunch of gossipers, just stop it" instead you could teach a lesson or have a member give a talk (ideally the member who tends to gossip) on gossiping.

I leave this knowing that my reasoning and knowledge is limited and that I could never truly decide how to act in such a situation without first being in that situation and then I would pray to know what to do, hoping for personal inspiration and revelation as to my course of action.

Page 2 Church Gossip stop to - Gossip Mormon

Assumptions and 'prophecy' seems to be the path to hell in this topic. It is amazing how members sit or stand aside and make all kinds of judgements based on dress, speech, etc of a fellow Brother or Sister. I always like to say, there are only two prophets and the true one is in Salt Lake City

Church Gossip stop to - Gossip Mormon

My standard statement to gossipers is,

"I wouldn't tolerate that kind of talk about you, I sure didn't expect it of you."

Or for example if I hear someone really talking bad about another, let's say it is a male member of the ward they are talking about;
I might say;
"I can't believe you would talk about your own brother that way,
sometimes they get my drift but more often they reply with "he's not my brother"
to which I respond,"oh, I'm sorry, are you the child of some other god"?

I have often had a person come to me and ask, did I hear what the Bishop did?
Or just start badmouthing the Bishop, in which case I plainly respond with, "that is murmuring against the Lord's annointed and I will have no part of it. At which I turn and walk away. (works great especially if the person regularly attends the Temple.)

But then again as I have never read the Dale Carnegie book "How to win friends and influence people", I really like the idea of assigning the gossiper to speak in sacrament meeting about the topic of gossip.

RC3

Mormon Gossip - How to stop Gossip in Church

This looks like an old thread, but I would like to share how I stopped gossip dead in its tracks.

This is how my conversation goes:
"Oh, that is so interesting, I am sure you won't mind me quoting you to (insert name of person being gossiped about) and letting them know how you feel." You, of course, will not mind when I tell them your name."

There must be a "gossip ring" because the gossip stops immediately (at least they never try it on me again).

Ricky

Mormon Gossip - to stop Gossip Church - Page 2

Good way to handle it, however, I am sure everyone is afraid to talk with you? When I was in the situation of leadership for 'detecting' membership status I would instead of stopping them (members who like to gossip) from telling me anything to channeling to tell the right people... like the Branch / District President (Bishop / Stake President) since if they were willing to tell them then it might be true. It actually worked in sorting serious situations rather than have members just talk about it among themselves.

Mormon Gossip - to stop Gossip Church Mormon Doctrine Studies - Page 2

The first thing I would like to say is "Tenaheff would you like to adopt me". If what you say is true about you, then that is the way that mothers should be. Rickydyson I agree with you, but if I were a Roomamager then I would attack you with roomers. Just for the simple fact that you made me look bad. And the Idea that you should give a roomamanger a chance to speak may sound good, but I wouldn't. Roomamangers are liers, and like other sins that are committed they will rationalize their behavior to the grave. They don't realize they are doing anything wrong in cases I have dealt with. You think they will be given some light on the subject if they have give a talk? They will probably give a great talk on it. They understand the details on it. Deep down they will clear themselves on the stand and make you look foolish. A true roomamanger thinks that they are given such insight because they are called by god in such areas. And it is O-kay for them to spread what they think of, as truth. It is how they change things. It makes them feel better about themselves. Then it may develop into being a martor or worse.
I haven't gone to church in 8 years. They think I am something I am not. Some of the things My mother said about me are true. Some of them aren't. She is good at what she does. She has been abused and controlled for many years and that is how she got control. It made her feal good about herself. It isn't an excuse, but it is how she did things. I think she kinda realizes now what is going on, but the pain is to much for her to deal with. And the damage in the family is extensive. I don't hate her now. And god bless her, in a lot of ways she is a great person. I think the way the church handles things is better. I am beginning to understand how it works. The Bishop and the counsilers are supposed to be inspired. If the Bishop is inspired then he should see what is going on and address the person in the privacy of his office without any further embarrassment and with the intention of helping. If it goes as far as the bishops office, then the bishop should be spiritual enough to know the best approach weather it is aggressive or passive or whatever. I remember many times before I fell away, that the bishop called me into the office. Trying to understand. I told him my belief at the time. I also told him that I wasn't coming to church anymore. He told me that he thought that was a good idea. Go figure. I was causing more problems then I was doing good. Their are other people and things he consider that made him a good bishop and leader to the rest of the ward. He was right. It all gets down to priesthood. That is the channel. Weak priesthood = problems. And your sons are only as strong as you raise them. If there are serious problems in your ward or where you live then the priesthood is weak. And that is just the way it goes. I have thought alot about things lately. If you think I am wrong then correct me. I will study you points of view more. I am trying to relearn things.