Forgive but do not forget - Page 2 of 3

I think we (and I include me in that "we") - Page 2 - Mormon Doctrine Studies - Posted: 30th Sep, 2003 - 10:35am

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16th Sep, 2003 - 2:29pm / Post ID: #

Forgive but do not forget - Page 2

What about when the person does not want you to forget. I know some people that honestly forgive another, but then the other party does not want them to forget so they purposely do things to remind them - sarcasm, teasing, etc. This form of forgiveness is really a test.



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16th Sep, 2003 - 3:27pm / Post ID: #

forget do Forgive

Oh yeah, is definetly a test. I suppose it is not easy but whoever behaves in that way are Satanic in my opinion, and no...I don't think is a strong statement to make because that's how Satan acts and some people just don't realize that are Satan's puppets when they start rejoicing in evil things.
The good person in this case, just have to continue doing the right thing and know there is a Father in Heaven that knows all things and will judge accordingly.



25th Sep, 2003 - 5:08pm / Post ID: #

Forgive but do not forget Studies Doctrine Mormon

This is a thought/struggle very close to my heart right now.  Without going into detail on a public forum, let me say that a member of my immediate family to whom I was very close betrayed me in an unbelievable manner.  I don't want to go into details because I still care very much for that person and hope someday to have a relationship with them again.

Although I can say I have put the anger aside (mostly), I am not sure I will ever forget what was done.  What I mean by this is that I may get to a point where I will never raise the issue to her in an argument or whatever, but I doubt I will ever trust her again.  I cannot see that our relationship will ever be what it was before the betrayal.  

It was crucial to my healing to let go of my anger.  It was the absolute turning point in my recovery from the situation, but we still don't speak.  She won't speak to me.  I don't believe she can face me since she is still actively doing what it is that was/is the betrayal.  But, I can honestly say I have no anger towards her and don't want to see any harm come to her, yet I know I will never forget what she has done.  Does this mean I haven't forgiven her.

I realize that when the Savior forgives us it is as though it never happened, but I am human and not sure I have the same capacity for forgiveness.

Yet, when the Savior forgives us, if we repeat the sin we aren't really forgiven, because we didn't really repent fully (even if we honestly intended to at the time) so does that mean it was never really forgotten either, just not used against us?



26th Sep, 2003 - 12:36am / Post ID: #

Page 2 forget do Forgive

I think people confuse what 'forget' means in this context. It doesn't mean you will actually 'forget' totally what the person did to you (of couse we cannot, because we have memory and even though we may try to erase from our minds, we will not be able to do so) forget in this context in my opinion means to move on. To not remember it for the purpose of bringing up the subject everytime you see the person. or just for the purpose of torturing yourself and the other person who harm you. This is what it means to me.



26th Sep, 2003 - 6:01am / Post ID: #

forget do Forgive

I agree with you LDS, and if I may empahsize too... that forget in this case also means to 'treat' the person as though it never happened. To do otherwise would be to 'remember' and thus our actions may be contentious towards the person.



26th Sep, 2003 - 4:14pm / Post ID: #

Forgive but do not forget

[quote]nd if I may empahsize too... that forget in this case also means to 'treat' the person as though it never happened. To do otherwise would be to 'remember' and thus our actions may be contentious towards the person.[/quote]

Great addition JB...oh boy...I guess that's why we have so much time to spend on Earth to learn how to do all these things, it is not easy at all....

Now, what about a situation where the person that harms you do not think he/she did anything wrong? what about if 'treating' the person like before would cause you worst things?



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26th Sep, 2003 - 5:03pm / Post ID: #

Forgive do forget - Page 2

[quote] Now, what about a situation where the person that harms you do not think he/she did anything wrong?[/quote]
Just let the Lord deal with them, it is up to us to forgive otherwise our judgement will be also one of condemnation for not forgiving.

[quote]what about if 'treating' the person like before would cause you worst things?[/quote]
Well it does not mean we have to be their best friend. Let us take someone who was abused as an example. It would be a mistake if the individual put themself in a position to be abused again because they want to 'forgive'. The person can detach themselves from the situation but not keep resentment, hate and revenge. It is all about how we react to the situation more than who is right or wrong.

Now this is just my perspective based on some past readings and the scriptures, but I might add... it sounds so simple but it really is not and we need a lot of the Lord's Spirit to be with us in such situations.



30th Sep, 2003 - 10:35am / Post ID: #

Forgive do forget Mormon Doctrine Studies - Page 2

I think we (and I include me in that "we") also tend to forget that the Atonement is also to help us forgive ourselves.  How often do we scold ourselves for bad behavior, and are unable to let go of the bad feelings we have for sins we have committed in the past?  The love of the Savior applies to us, too, not just to others.  It took me a long time to really understand that the Atonement will help me to forgive myself and forget my own transgressions.

And as a past victim of abuse, I can tell you it's a difficult road to forgive the abuser.  It takes a huge leap of faith and understanding to do it.  It can take years (and a lot of therapy), but it can happen.  It's a huge burden lifted, and a beginning to healing of the soul.  But forget?  I haven't quite figured that one out.  And I once heard someone say we should not forget, but remember differently -- as in learn and grow from the experience.

A lady in my ward says that not forgiving someone is like taking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.

Roz



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