Close Topic Options

Listening Gets You Nowhere ?

I'm the listener in the group. Whenever someone has a problem, they come to me. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE that I can be there for my friends.. but,
no one's ever there for me. Anyone else have this problem?

You Listening

Yea, I have had this problem more times than I can count. Don't get me wrong. I really feel good when my friends come to me to talk about stuff that's really bothering me. I do have a few friends I can also turn to if I need a good listening, understanding ear.

But sometimes, the friends I can really talk to, are busy or unavailable to talk. So I either wait or try and find my own way to work thru whatever it is, I'm dealing with at the time.

Listening Gets You Nowhere ? Health & Special Psychology

I had this problem ALL through my high school years, later on I realized they were not really my friends, after all, they were never for me when I needed it. Friendship is about giving and receiving and when the other part is self-centered to ignore this, then, why to keep a friend like that?. I hate to be used and I don't allow anybody else to used me again.

You Listening

I used to have this problem when I was younger. I think everyone viewed me as a strong, take charge kind of person so they always came to me for advice, but didn't think they had anything to offer me. ( I don't know how anyone would get that kind of an impression ) I honestly don't think it ever occured to them that I might occasionally need a shoulder to cry on myself. In fact, once I remember someone telling me how they were impressed with how I just took care of business and kept on living so to speak. As I have gotten older this has changed. I don't know if my friends have gotten better or I just don't seem so in control now.

Actually, I think it is more that I was so hard hit recently with my personal situation that my closest friends saw me break down and so they knew I wasn't so strong that I didn't need help at times just like everyone else. They still admire the way I have handled things, but they were there for me when I needed them. I must admit one of my friends was probably more worried than she needed to be because I would vent and she thought I really was going to do something bad or become bitter or something, but generally, she did listen when I needed. Yet, when I needed it most, none of my friends really could help me. In that time, I needed to turn to prayer, which I did. It was a little disappointing that I didn't think my friends were available at my lowest point, but in the end, I realize it was better for all of us.

Edited: tenaheff on 29th Dec, 2004 - 9:09pm

You Listening

I still have this problem today. .. It tends to happen most when I feel like I need somebody the most. I'm so busy helping other people with their problems, mine seem to sit and bubble and get worse until they explode.

It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, though. Now I look at it as a way for God to use me in helping somebody else. Everybody needs somebody, and even if that person isn't going to show me the same consideration, I find that I just cannot turn them away.