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More Children Or Not?

More Children Or Not?

Do you think it is good to have More Children when you are already faced with a child that needs extra effort and attention? Having more children may limit your ability to focus on your special needs child or vice versa.

Not Children More

It depends on your particular situation. I think having more children also helps the one with special needs to feel more connected to the family, specially if the child may not go to school or have a very active social life, in this case his brothers and sisters become his friends making things much easier for the kid since for once, he feels "accepted".

My son already started asking me for another baby, he said he wants a sister this time and when asked how many he wants, he said..."hmmm...just 10 brothers and 10 sisters, that's it".

More Children Or Not? Health & Special Psychology

More may help the social needs of the child, but may not the academic or emotional side since you will now need to share yourself among more children. Children with ADHD is like having I would say three kids. The demands is probably about the same. So if you want to have more children you will need to instantly check three to next one you have.

This is an interesting questions for DianeC. Given your circumstances, if you could would you have more children?

Not Children More

Lets put it this way... It hasn't put me off at all!
Really, we would have loved to have had at least 6 children.Even with the 2 youngest having special needs I would still not hesitate at extending our family. I'm not saying that it's easy , far from it, raising children with 'needs', is very demanding and very tiring, some days I'm run into the ground.. literally, but the few small good signs that come out of it make me know how worthwhile it is.

Obviously our circumstances are different, as we can't naturally have any more of our own (our eldest Son was born after fertility treatment, and our youngest son and daughter are adopted), but I would still consider adding to our family again through adoption, there is a balance to be gained, where able bodied/minded children don't lose out to 'special needs' children, and vice versa. I believe there's always enough love to go around, and I personally think that children benefit greatly from having more siblings.

Not Children More

DianeC, you have to be one of the few chosen women indeed to say that. We have a number of Threads concerning having more children despite circumstances that I would also like for you to look at when you have time. I have heard some people say that having many children is therapeutic for special needs children because of the social interaction, but what about the academic part if they are all being home schooled - can you really dedicate time when you literally have no time? It is not like you get a break when they go off to school, no they are there with you 24/7.

More Children Or Not?

That's wonderful Diane! I think in the same way. I see Felipe being a great and caring brother and he has a special bond with Jonah. They have 6 years of difference yet they are very close. I think kids with ADHD and other special needs benefit greatly from having more siblings, there are more sacrifices to be done of course yet the rewards of a big family must be amazing, it has been always a dream of mine to have 6 kids.

More Children Not

There on the most part, of naturally conceived children a low percentage of having more special needs children. (Unless there is a genetic problem), therefore, the likelihood of having more special needs children, is normally quite slim (although there are always exceptions to this)
You normally find also, that the younger siblings of a special needs child seem to have an inner and special understanding of that 'special' childs needs that even other adults do not have.
Regarding home schooling, I would have to say that the most difficult part of this would be teaching the child with the needs, and not their siblings- no matter how many you had, and remember also, that if they are not born one a year, there will be an age gap where the older ones can help out the younger ones, easing up valuable time for the one who needs the extra help.
I met a woman on holiday once who was in this situation, and it was very inspiring to see how she had the children educated well, but also managed so that none of her 4 children lost out. (The eldest boy had Autism)
I know that I personally am not educated enough to do this, but I have been tempted a couple of times of giving it a go,and getting a tutor and family to help, as I've felt let down sometimes by the school education system. I really don't know what the solution is in a Country where you don't have a choice, and you have to home school to keep your children safe and educated...I can only see it as sheer hard work that never gives you any break of any type or description.

I spend 2 hours per day for each child on top of what the school is teaching, to try to give them a bit of extra help, as I know that one day they've got to get on with life in the world by themselves, and to be honest..it worries me. I really don't know what the solution is for children with special needs and learning difficulties, it's a tough one.

More Children Not Psychology Special & Health

Of recent I have been thinking about having to use different methods with each child and having those same children understand the difference. For instance we recently found that the Rewards System will not work with Felipe so we cannot use that, but when Jonah grows up we may want to use that with him as it might prove to be effective, but then Jonah might say that we do not do it with Felipe. Of course we can explain why, but you know, children sometimes want to see it just from their angle. My point is if we were to have a third child and that child had a special need as well then that would be three different methods - how would one cope with that? What about having a fourth, fifth and sixth child? Wouldn't having each additional child cause a lack of focus on the needs of the ones who are already part of your family?