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Anger Management - Page 3

Well those underlying emotions for me are disappointed ones I think. I cannot possibly go into everything that entails because it would take up about 5 pages.

I sort of see everyone around me as monkeys. I am intelligent enough to read and understand all the little messed up things people do. Eventually all these little things build up and have a breaking point in me.

Example: Someone asking what is wrong but not actually caring. They just want to ask what is wrong with you as a sort of attack on you. Even if I am fine and nothing is wrong it never fails someone will come up and ask what is wrong. If I try and explain anything their eyes glaze over and most of the time they just walk away like I am not even talking.

Another example: Telling me that I am quiet and wondering why I am so quiet. Then when I try and talk with them they clam up and look at me like I am crazy.

Another example: Woman who act like they are the center of the universe just because they have a certain thing that guys like. They expect me to treat them like everyone else even though I do not buy into that.

Anyways like I said the underlying reasons go on and on forever it seems. Basically I feel like an intelligent human in a world of monkeys. I try and educate them and explain logically how and why I feel the way I do in a civilized manner. Yet very seldom do I actually break threw their wall and get my point heard.

I go day to day wondering what the heck I am doing here. Wondering why I have people staring at me and trying to break me. I don't seek confrontation yet it always seems to find me.

To date I have understood what Jesus meant when he said do not look at the splinter in your brothers eye but deal with the log in your own eye. That is not an exact quote thus the reason I did not put it in quotations but that pretty much what he said as I remember it.

I think he was trying to say sometimes you need to just love and accept people for what they are. Understanding that has helped me with my anger.

I need to suffer with my brothers and sisters in this life because it is better than the alternative (hell). I don't want to be assimilated but I have to accept that most people are just clones of the next.

In short ((laugh) ha) I see all the evils of this world and reject them. However the ones that give into them and live by them (98% of the world) do not like that I am free from those constraints. I think they see me free and want to destroy me so that they don't have to face their own demons.

This I think is where most of my underlying anger stems from. Dealing day to day with so many blind people and trying to find some common ground with them. Sometimes it is just to much and I loose my ability to let it roll off my back. When that confrontation happens it happens big for me.

When my anger takes over it is like a thunderstorm and my ability to control it is like an ants ability to control the storm.

Edited: Oliron on 16th Apr, 2011 - 8:44pm

Management Anger

Oliron, I read your post very carefully at least three times. Did you ever get tested for a personality disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, intermittent explosive disorder or even Aspergers? The way you describes your anger reactions and the reasons for it, reminds me of many disorders. If you didn't, I would recommend you to go to a psychologist and get tested because you could well have one of these conditions and with the right medication, things could change dramatically for the better.

Anger Management Health & Special Psychology

That is sort of the problem, I don't have a disorder. I have very sound and logical reasons for the way I think and feel. I think if I could sit down with you and explain myself face to face we might have a better understanding. I have spoken with trained professionals and therapist yet never been diagnosed with any disorder (except anger).

In a way I wish it was that simple and I could just take some pill and be "normal". I will admit at the end of my statement above I went a little overboard. I made it sound like I am a ticking time bomb of furry. I think I over dramatized my explanation but was trying to convey how nearly all of us get when we loose control of our anger. Your brain no longer is able to think as clearly as it should and in turn you say or do things spontaneously.

I find it interesting that because I have a certain world view people think some sort of medication would "help" me. I think the way the world would define help and the way I would define it are two very different things. I simply demand the same respect I give to others. I don't expect them to live and act how I think they should. In the same regard I expect to be left to my own.

I appreciate your concern and understand were you are coming from. As stated I am in anger management and that is helping in its own way. However I cannot just unlearn what I know. I can't change the way I perceive this world, believe me I have tried. All I can do is just love and try to understand others, somehow that is going to have to be enough.

Edited: Oliron on 17th Apr, 2011 - 11:31pm

Page 3 Management Anger

Oh, don't take me wrong. My suggestion on the medication route was not based on your "view" of the world or people (I think it makes you unique and trust me, there are few people like that out there). My suggestion comes from your perceived inability to project that anger to something more positive.

I'm a very quiet person in real life, there are times that annoy me a lot when people ask me why I'm so quiet (the way they do it, is almost like I'm either an alien or a freak). I realized that people project their own insecurities towards others and they feel very uncomfortable when others behave in a different way. It's not about me, it's about them. It is them who have to deal with their own issues and I decided one day that I won't take responsibility for what people feel when they see me.

There was one time this guy would come around and always ask me why I don't smile (like if I'm supposed to be some sort of clown). Then he would start saying "Smile, smile, smile!" everytime he would see me. Of course, he was that type. Always smiling and was uncomfortable when he was around me because I wasn't the same.

Let's face it. Most people analyze things on the surface, they're not deep thinkers. Having said that, we need to remember we have control over ourselves, what we want to say, what we don't want to say, who we would like to talk to and who we don't wanna to. The rest of the people have the responsibility to deal with their own issues and insecurities. Don't take the extra load. I chose silence (in real life) to deal with those differences. I noticed that more I talked, less people understood. Silence is a powerful tool that can work wonders in many situations. My motto is "If one's words are not better than silence, one should keep silent."

Management Anger

I have come a long way down that road in the last year and hope to end my negative cycle. However I don't see silence as an option many of times.

If you continue to be silent you get the reputation of being that quiet guy. If you don't speak up and express yourself people will make up your own voice for you. Then you are constantly fighting against some preconceived idea of who or what you are.

That is why I like to come right out and say what I mean to say to people. I like them to know where my boundaries are and where I draw the line. That said I can't really come out and say exactly what I think or feel otherwise I would be a very lonely person. So I try to find a middle ground were I can exist socially and yet still maintain my view set.

One of the big things that has been angering me that I touched on earlier was about women. I have been noticing that media likes to portray love and sex as the same thing. If you (media) tell someone that enough over and over eventually they begin to think that is normal. I find it highly irritating that most women do not understand that love is a very complex and deep emotion and has very little to do with sex. However when it is convenient for them they have no problem with meshing the two into one.

I will give a "quick" example: I give a ride home to an older woman who is very attractive. During the ride she will at times tell me stories about how this wealthy guy sent a plane to pick her up. Or she will tell of some other wealthy guy and how they "hooked up", for fun of course. Even though I have expressed to her that I do not believe in that sort of lifestyle.

Part of me (the angry part) wants to say, "Good for you so you were a high class prostitute." However the other part of me knows saying something like that would be highly offensive and wrong to say. Thus my frustration towards the situation compiles. Eventually my anger will get the best of me and I will say something she is not going to like to hear, probably out of frustration and anger.

I find so many things about her personality to be,

however I am not allowed by society to bring up these thoughts and feelings. I must maintain neutrality and accept her for what she is. Meanwhile she probably thinks me crazy for not being all exited about her tales of misadventure.

So you see my anger and probably parts of my person are dysfunctional. However I think it would be impossible to separate that from the civilized good part of who I am. I then ask myself am I the one with the disorder or am I just human.

My anger is definitely a byproduct but I don't thing it is one that can be removed. Thus I have to find a way to live with it and cope with it, hence anger management.

Anger Management

Hi Oliron, I can relate a lot with the example you gave about the woman telling you all those things. It happened to me and it makes me so irritable! In my case, I have a couple of people in the past who would tell me all the "wonderful things" they have been doing or purchasing: vacations, new this or that, etc. My reaction would be something along "That's great" "Enjoy!" "have fun!" yet they would get all emotional and angry when I reacted that way and hinted (in one occasion) that I was probably jealous. What the heck? (I thought) and all because I didn't "gush" over them saying something like "Oh my goodness, you are so lucky! I wish I was that lucky".

Well I am not that kind of person and I lost a friendship over it because let's face it, a true friend knows that you aren't jealous. A true friends want to share their great experiences and good fortune with good intention, NOT with the purpose of trying to make you jealous and get angry when you don't.

Depending on the day, I can tolerate better the stories people want to tell me but other days, I just feel to slap them across the face! *laughs* I find MOST people don't have social clues, you know the ability to recognize that you are not interested in what they are saying and EVEN when you tell them you are not, they still manage to tell you regardless which I find a lack of respect. It shows a lot of insecurity in their part.

Anger Management - Page 3

Do I Need Anger Management? How to Know For Sure
Anger management Tips

When speaking to people over the years, I have come to realise that 'anger' is not such a clear-cut definition at it may seem. Many people think that anger is the typical soap-opera style of loosing ones temper: shouting, screaming and physically hitting people and/or throwing objects across the room.
Source: Self-Improvement:Anger-Management

Anger Management Psychology Special & Health - Page 3

When Anger Gets the Best of You
Anger management Tips

There may be times when being angry seems to be the best way to demonstrate how much something has affected us. Let's look at these situations in a little more detail. Then, let's look at other ways to communicate distress and annoyance.
Source: Self-Improvement:Anger-Management