"My dear young brethren, the Lord has been very good to you. He has brought
you forth in this, the greatest age in the history of the earth. He has
made you the beneficiary of His glorious gospel, restored to the earth for
your blessing. No other generation has been the beneficiary of so much
knowledge, of so much experience, of so much affluence and opportunity.
"For your own sakes, for your happiness now and in all the years to come,
and for the happiness of the generations who come after you, avoid sexual
transgression as you would a plague.
"Prove your strength, show your independence, by saying no when enticement
from peers comes your way. Your own strength will add strength to those who
are weak. Your own example will give determination to others."
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Reverence and Morality," Ensign, May 1987, 48)
I am amazed at how many of the youth really do not know what the Law of Chastity is or what the bounds are. Such things as necking, petting and fondling are sometimes considered 'ok'. This topic is not in the mature section because I hope we can discuss it as well as Elder Richard G. Scott did in a past conference...
As a young boy, I felt that some things that I heard discussed by others at school about private parts of the body were wrong. Yet I wasn't really sure how wrong or why they were wrong. You may have similar feelings. Since in tonight's setting you cannot ask me anything, I will use some of the confidential questions most frequently asked by youth I have met across the world. I will answer them by what I have learned from the scriptures and the prophets. You then will have clear standards from which to make choices. I pray that as we talk the Holy Ghost will let you feel the truth of what is said. I know that as you listen and think of how our interview applies to you, there will come impressions regarding what to do about it in your own life.
Richard G. Scott, "Making the Right Choices," Ensign, Nov. 1994, 37
Question: Could you give us some help about resisting peer pressure? Why do some people do things that are wrong, then brag about how much fun they are having? When I don't participate, they make me feel stupid because I won't do it.
Answer: You can't please God without upsetting Satan, so you will get pressure from those he tempts to do wrong. Individuals who do wrong want you to join them because they feel more comfortable in what they are doing when others do it also. They may also want to take advantage of you. It is natural to want to be accepted by peers, to be part of a group-some even join gangs because of that desire to belong, but they lose their freedom, and some lose their lives. One of the hardest things for you to recognize is how truly strong you already are and how others silently respect you. We have great confidence in you. You don't need to compromise your standards to be accepted by good friends. The more obedient you are, the more you stand for true principles, the more the Lord can help you overcome temptation. 2 You can also help others because they will feel your strength. Let them know about your standards by consistently living them. Answer questions about your principles when you are asked, but avoid being preachy. I know from personal experience that works. No one intends to make serious mistakes. They come when you compromise your standards to be more accepted by others. You be the strong one. You be the leader. Choose good friends and resist peer pressure together.
Question: How do we keep bad thoughts from entering our minds, and what do we do when they come?
Answer: Some bad thoughts come by themselves. Others come because we invite them by what we look at and listen to. 3 Talking about or looking at immodest pictures of a woman's body can stimulate powerful emotions. It will tempt you to watch improper videocassettes or movies. These things surround you, but you must not participate in them. Work at keeping your thoughts clean by thinking of something good. 4 The mind can think of only one thing at a time. Use that fact to crowd out ugly thoughts. 5 Above all, don't feed thoughts by reading or watching things that are wrong. If you don't control your thoughts, Satan will keep tempting you until you eventually act them out. 6
Question: Why is the law of chastity so important? Why is sex before marriage wrong?
Answer: Fundamental to the great plan of happiness and central to the teachings of the Savior is the family. A new family begins when a man and woman make sacred marriage vows and are legally bound together to become husband and wife, father and mother. The perfect beginning is through sealing in the temple. With [page 38] marriage they commit the best of themselves to be absolutely loyal to each other and to invite children to be nurtured and taught. The father assumes his role as provider and protector, the mother her role as the heart of the home, with her tender, loving, nurturing influence. Together they strive to instill in themselves and their children principles such as prayer, obedience, love, giving of oneself, and the quest for knowledge. Within the enduring covenant of marriage, the Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers in all their loveliness and beauty within the bounds He has set. 7 One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality. Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other, and common purpose. However, those intimate acts are forbidden by the Lord outside the enduring commitment of marriage because they undermine His purposes. 8 Within the sacred covenant of marriage, such relationships are according to His plan. When experienced any other way, they are against His will. They cause serious emotional and spiritual harm. Even though participants do not realize that is happening now, they will later. Sexual immorality creates a barrier to the influence of the Holy Spirit with all its uplifting, enlightening, and empowering capabilities. It causes powerful physical and emotional stimulation. In time that creates an unquenchable appetite that drives the offender to ever more serious sin. It engenders selfishness and can produce aggressive acts such as brutality, abortion, sexual abuse, and violent crime. Such stimulation can lead to acts of homosexuality, and they are evil and absolutely wrong. Sexual transgression would defile the priesthood you now hold, sap your spiritual strength, undermine your faith in Jesus Christ, and frustrate your ability to serve Him. Consistent, willing obedience increases your confidence and ability. It produces character that allows you to face difficult challenges and overcome them. It qualifies you to receive inspiration and power from the Lord. 10
Richard G. Scott, "Making the Right Choices," Ensign, Nov. 1994, 38
Continued from above...
Question: They always tell us we shouldn't become sexually involved, but they never tell us the limits. What are they?
Answer: Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage-I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another's body, with or without clothing-is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body. 11 Satan tempts one to believe that there are allowable levels of physical contact between consenting individuals who seek the powerful stimulation of emotions they produce, and if kept within bounds, no harm will result. As a witness of Jesus Christ, I testify that is absolutely false. Satan particularly seeks to tempt one who has lived a pure, clean life to experiment through magazines, videocassettes, or movies with powerful images of a woman's body. He wants to stimulate appetite to cause experimentation that quickly results in intimacies and defilement. Powerful habits are formed which are difficult to break. Mental and emotional scars result. When you are mature enough to plan seriously for marriage, keep your expressions of feelings to those that are comfortable in the presence of your parents. 12 To help you keep these sacred commandments, make a covenant with the Lord that you will obey them. Decide what you will do and will not do. When temptation comes, do not change your standards. Do not abandon them when circumstances seem to justify an exception. That is Satan's way to hurt you by making it seem that sometimes God's law does not apply. There are no exceptions.
Question: Before you are married, how far is too far to go if it is with your girlfriend?
Answer: Before marriage there can be no sexual contact with a girlfriend, fiancee, or anyone else, period. 13 While a commandment, that standard is for your happiness. That's why the Church counsels you to go in groups and not to date while you are young. Later, as you prepare for marriage, remember that true love elevates, protects, respects, and enriches another. It motivates you to make sacrifices for the girl you love. Satan would promote counterfeit love, which is really lust. That is driven by hunger to satisfy personal appetite. Protect the one you love by controlling your emotions to the limits set by the Lord. You know how to be clean. We trust you to do it.
"Live above the curse of immorality that is plaguing the earth. Rise above
the squalor of pornography, obscenity, and filth. Be virtuous and chaste.
Uphold your young sisters in the gospel by respecting their budding
womanhood and protecting their virtue. Always conduct yourselves according
to the commandments of God when you are with them. You want your
girlfriends to remain clean and pure. Just as you surely would protect the
chastity of your own sister in your family, likewise protect the virtue of
your sisters in God's family."
(Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Live in Obedience," Ensign, May 1994, 40)
"To the young men who are here tonight I wish to say that the Lord has made
it clear, and the experience of centuries has confirmed it, that happiness
lies not in immorality, but rather in abstinence. The voice of the Church
to which you belong is a voice pleading for virtue. It is a voice pleading
for strength to abstain from that which is evil. It is a voice declaring that
sexual transgression is sin. It is contrary to the will of the Lord. It is
contrary to the teachings of the Church. It is contrary to the happiness
and well-being of those who indulge in it.
"You should recognize, you must recognize, that both experience and
divine wisdom dictate virtue and moral cleanliness as the way that leads
to strength of character, peace in the heart, and happiness in life."
(Gordon B. Hinckley, "Reverence and Morality," Ensign, May 1987, 47-48)
Here is a good point of discussion since it seems there is a fear of touching it
What is lust that the Lord would say that if a man were to do it in his heart he would be just as guilty as if he had committed a sexual act with the woman?
What is the difference between admiration of beauty and lustful desire?
Is it okay to discuss the physical beauty of a person... for instance to notice a man is muscular or a woman is well shaped?
QUOTE |
What is the difference between admiration of beauty and lustful desire? |
QUOTE |
Is it okay to discuss the physical beauty of a person... for instance to notice a man is muscular or a woman is well shaped? |
I can add my testimony that sexual transgression is something you don't want to get into at all. My boyfriend and I have limited our intimacy to simple pecks on the lips or cheek, hugging, hand-holding, and that sort of thing. We don't talk about certain things and we don't look at each other in certain ways... we just do whatever we can to keep ourselves out of trouble. It takes work, but it is worth it. I am a convert and I had some physically intimate relationships before I became a member, and my relationship now with another Latter-Day Saint has been the greatest and most rewarding. Physical intimacy complicates things and can lead to feelings of guilt or inadequacy. I am best friends with my boyfriend and we have an extremely strong bond that I wouldn't trade for being physical with him.
Don't let people pressure you. The world can be an extremely immoral place. Stand and be counted for what you believe in. Sexual sins are extremely hard to repent from and are just not worth it, trust me. They can be the cause of the most significant regrets you'll ever have. Just remember that when you go to the temple you're going to want to be worthy to wear white.
"We do not set the standards, but we are commanded to teach them and
maintain them. . . . However out of step we may seem, however much the
standards are belittled, however much others yield, we will not yield, we
cannot yield."
(Boyd K. Packer, "The Standard of Truth Has Been Erected," Ensign, Nov. 2003, 26)