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Weapons Found On Math Teacher At Airport

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He
is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult", Ashcroft said, "They desire average solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to
themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As
the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every
triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted
us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more
fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine
that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to
disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict
plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the
circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw
the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have
the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before
seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in
random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my
ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to
multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their
necks.

Airport Teacher Math On Weapons

@Neo, when I first start reading I thought 'You must be kidding!' its amazing how these days they can make jokes of almost anything. *rolling eyes*

Weapons Found On Math Teacher At Airport UFO & Writing Art Education Sciences

my son and I are laughing so hard !! ohmigosh my eyes are watering!! That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.... Thank you, JB


ROz

Airport Teacher Math On Weapons

Ummmm... you mean thank you Neo? Glad you enjoyed it though and hope that you were able to wipe your tears... did you think it was serious in the beginning?

Offtopic but, Does your son have an account here too? If so, what name? So that I pay homage

Airport Teacher Math On Weapons

Well, since I read the last post first, I knew this was a joke from the start, but it was cute. No, I don't read the last page of a book first, but sometimes I am tempted.

I love jokes like this that play on words.

Al Gebra. Math Instruction. This really is well written!

Weapons Found On Math Teacher At Airport

Yeah, but then it is not as funny anymore. The whole thing about this one is you think it is something serious until you 'catch yourself' reading math related vocabulary.

Weapons On Math Teacher Airport

The title is what got me, I figured it was another one of those Aiport Security snafus. Then the "weapons of math instruction" -- oh my gosh, I just lost it.

Offtopic but, No, my son has not joined, but he reads over my shoulder sometimes... he is very involved in other sites where he gets to rule the world, etc.

Roz

Weapons On Math Teacher Airport Sciences Education Art Writing & UFO

hey Neo

to make a spoof story appear even more genuine, always, always, always post a link with yuor spoof story, even if it's a fake link or a disguised link to an unrelated news item, porn site, whatever

that is all

- Car Key Boi