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Mormons: Pregnant Again Or Not?

Pregnant Again Or Not?

In times past things like condoms, protection and pills were an abomination to the Brethren, now the stance of the Church is... Each couple have to take it to the Lord in prayer. This is most likely because of the many countries, economic situations and even laws that govern the raising of children are so different. However, we have been given a commandment to multiply and replenish the earth... Anything that stops the procreative process in an LDS family is shone as being from the devil... What is your view?

Not Or Pregnant Mormons

This is such a personal decision -- it's definitely a commandment to procreate, a blessing and a gift of divine proportions. On the other hand, it can be abused or perhaps misunderstood. I've seen moms with horrible health problems because of pregnancies too close together so that their bodies are literally worn out before their time, while their husbands strut around like a barnyard rooster. That's just wrong, in my opinion. Heavenly Father didn't mean for ONE family to replenish the earth!

In another situation, one of the families in my immediate circle, an aunt and uncle of mine, had 13 children, and they are so committed to that family! And so humble. I know my aunt had some health issues, but they are a very close, loving family.

Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to have had a half a dozen kids Life didn't turn out that way for me.

I don't think "spacing" child bearing is of the devil -- it's sensible. God didn't intend for women to kill themselves having babies one right after the other.

In my (not so humble) opinion.
Roz

Mormons: Pregnant Again Or Not? Studies Doctrine Mormon

, this is so true.

I think is a personal decision of the couple and nobody should interfer in such a thing (after all is a very private matter). If they seek counsel then I understand the leaders giving counsel about this matter, nevertheless, it should be always clear that the decision is up to the couple.
I have mixed feelings, I know for one side the Lord wants us to bring as many Spirits to this Earth but by the other side he also wants us to be responsible parents that can provide for our children in the best way we can. Also health issues should be a priority too, not always the woman is healthy enough to keep having children.

Sometimes the wife or husband is the one who wants to have more children and the other one do not want and this (even though the person doesn't see it) may bring future and serious conflicts in the marriage.

Edited: LDS_forever on 5th Apr, 2004 - 12:32pm

Not Or Pregnant Mormons

I firmly agree that spacing them out is a valid reason to use various contraceptive measures. But I also agree that it must be done thoughtfully and prayerfully. In our case, we wanted at least one more child, but the last pregnancy ended in a bad miscarriage, and my wife had reached an age where it was unlikely that another pregnancy would occur. She also had two earlier miscarriages.

What is sad is those people who choose to put off having children for their careers, or decide to limit their families to one or two children for economic reasons. Children are the jewels in our eternal crowns. To consciously restrict ourselves without a good reason is just a real shame. (health reasons are obviously excellent)

Not Or Pregnant Mormons

I would like to focus on the economic reasons, since that seems to be the most common answer you get for not having children and ask... 'When are you at the level of being too 'poor' to have children? For instance, if you have no car, no home, no relatives, no job... should you still plan on having children? Which one of those would enable you to have more children - a car? a home? what? I guess it really does come down to prayer as has been mentioned, but I wonder if it is not so much about money as it is 'capacity' because you may have just enough money to have another child but not the 'time' or 'resources'. By that I mean that you may not be able to devote enough time or have the things available to rear children properly because you would have to spend so much time working in order to raise your children. Just some loose thoughts...

Mormons: Pregnant Again Or Not?

I think we have a responsibility to have children, but I don't believe choosing how many to have and restricting the number we have is "of the devil." I don't think there is anything wrong with contraception at all. What I think is that each couple must decide for themselves how many to have. I also think their reasons for the number they choose to have is also theirs and no one else's business.

To me, economics should be a factor, but I don't think you can put a specific money value on when one can afford or not, more children. I do not believe you should have more children then you can afford to feed, clothe or educate. That responsibility is yours if you choose to have the children, not mine as a taxpayer, for example. I am not suggesting we shouldn't help people when they need it, but I do not believe that is the same as having children knowing that someone else will need to provide financially for them.

Another consideration should be the state of the marriage. Too many children can lead to economic problems and one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage is money. So, continuing to have children because you think you need to multiply and replenish the earth at the detriment of your marriage is not wise.

In a perfect world, none of my concerns would matter, but we do not live in a perfect world, and we are not perfect people. However, we must do our best and part of that, in my opinion, is to be aware of how an additional child will impact our life and the lives of our family members.

Finally, the most important thing, I think, is to do what you believe the Lord wants you to do. That, too, is a very personal thing. For one, that may mean having 10 kids on a small income and for another maybe it means only one kid even with a large income. We all have differing abilities and that includes our parenting abilities. Heavenly Father knows this best.

Edited: tenaheff on 6th Apr, 2004 - 6:10pm

Mormons Pregnant Or Not

That is a very good point and one often overlooked by parents. I have seen many marriages going downhill and then suddenly you hear 'another child is coming' and you just have to shake your head and wonder what they were thinking. I think some actually believe having more children will somehow save their marriage - I do not know how they come up with that.

Mormons Pregnant Or Not Mormon Doctrine Studies

They come up with it from seeing large, successful, happy families, that aren't particularly well off financially - like mine. Or, they know that their grandparents who were born in the polygamist Mormon culture had 15 brothers and sisters, and the parents were extremely stable and happy.

It is a matter of priorities. And, you are right, if the marriage is in trouble, having another child certainly isn't going to help.

Right now, my sister is facing divorce, and she will be having her third baby in about a month. However, it wasn't planned. Of course, once she got pregnant, there wasn't much she could do about it. The good thing is that this baby will get lots of love from her and the other two children, although there are indications that the father, her husband, may ignore it.

Fortunately, she is a very active member, smart, attractive, with a good education and work experience. (She worked for Microsoft for about 5 years, doing background art for X-Box games)

I think that the pregnancy did force the issue though for her husband to move out.