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Mormons: Pregnant Again Or Not? - Page 2

I have been thinking deeply about this lately and I think that the most important treasures you can ever have is children. You will never have the 'perfect' job, the 'greatest' house and the circumsntances will never be like the one you wish. Women cannot wait forever to have children so when those conditions sometimes is met, its way too late and dissapointment embraces the marriage. I would like to be a mother of 6 children, since I was not raised in a large family or have many relatives, it was always my wish to have my own large and happy family and see my children going to missions, married in the Temple and enjoying my grandkids....Now, I will be 30 in February! It took me way too long to realise this.

Not Or Pregnant Mormons

LDS, I have a question for you. I agree that children are a gift. However, do you think it is o.k. to have 6 children just because you always wanted to if you were unable to provide for them. What if you were unable to properly cloth or feed them? Would it still be right for you to then have 6 kids just because this was a number you decided upon when you were younger?

I think the number of children you decide to have is definately a personal decision and not for others to determine. So, it isn't for me to decide or judge whether or not you can afford to have more children. It isn't for me to decide how much you should have financially before having a certain number of children. It isn't for me to decide how much food or how many articles of clothing you should be able to provide each child. That is up to you. However, I don't think you should decide to have 6 children, not be able to afford them, and then look to me to help you cloth and feed them.


Now, if you decide to have 6 children and you can afford them at the time and then something happens so that you can no longer afford to properly support them, I think I then should help you. It is only when one decides to have more children with no thought towards how to provide for them that I object.

Also, I agree that if one waits until they have everything exactly perfectly before having their children, they would never have them. You will never have all the money you need, for example. So I don't think someone needs to wait until they feel they are totally financially secure to have children, but if someone has one child and they are already relying upon state or church funding or support for that child, then I question them deciding to have more.

Mormons: Pregnant Again Or Not? Studies Doctrine Mormon

First of all, let me be honest with you. I did not like the tone of your post. It is not sensitive to me or my feelings. It really bothers me.
I don't understand your whole essay about whether I can afford it or not, I don't think is none of your business anyway but the thing that called my attention the most is that you would actually ask me whether I will have more children just for the sake of having more and not being concerned whether I could afford them or not. I'm not a little kid. I'm a woman. I have my head well upon my shoulders, for you to question that, makes me sick and very upset. You need to calm down and put down your judgemental finger. I'm not a little hispanic girl who will rely on state funds or Church for help or live on welfare, I'm an educated woman who works and pay taxes just like any other person. Everything my family and I have is from our own sweat and blood. We haven't asked a cent to anyone, and you have no idea of our own personal circumnstances, so I think you need to be more sensitive about it next time when you post. It was very disturbing.

Edited: LDS_forever on 23rd Nov, 2004 - 11:41pm

Page 2 Not Or Pregnant Mormons

Wait a minute LDS. I was not referring to you at all in my post. I am sorry you thought that I was. I was using 6 children as an example only from your post. I was simply following the line of discussion from my earlier post in this topic about how I think people should determine if they want to have more children. Please accept my apologies for this misunderstanding.

I can see how my post seems to be directed at you because of how my sentences were worded, but that was meant as a lingustic style. I didn't mean them to truly be questions directed at you specifically. They were meant more hypothetically.

Edited: tenaheff on 23rd Nov, 2004 - 11:50pm

Not Or Pregnant Mormons

Well, I just understand what I read. You started your post by saying "LDS" and then ask some questions and then your whole post is about the same figure I gave of the number of children I wanna have. I took it personal because from the beginning you mentioned my name.

Edited: LDS_forever on 23rd Nov, 2004 - 11:48pm

Mormons: Pregnant Again Or Not?

Please read the addition to my post where I attempt to explain. I was using a linguistic style. The questions were meant hypothetically. Again, I am sorry for offending you because I really wasn't judging you. I was asking it in a manner that to me meant, I didn't feel you were in those circumstances. I was trying to play "what if" not suggesting that this was your situation.

I am sorry.

Mormons Pregnant Or Not - Page 2

Well, I am the father of six children. That has been the greatest joy of my life.

We haven't always been able to "afford" them. There have been times, mostly when I was laid off and working towards a better job, where we had to use various social welfare programs, as well as the Church welfare program. But I have always kept working, sometimes three part-time jobs.

We really wish we could have had more. My wife's last miscarriage was devastating. Since she is a bit older than me, we have been unsuccessful in our attempts to have more.

There have certainly been sacrifices in our lives. We are crowded into a small house, we have old cars, we rarely travel anywhere, and we only eat out once a month or so, with occasional hamburgers or sub sandwiches in between - and that is now that I have a good job.

If the family is willing to sacrifice and work hard, using an argument about whether or not they can "afford" to have the children is a rather weak tactic. It indicates, to me, that they are not really serious about enjoying the blessings of the children.

Although my oldest daughter is only 19, and I would never press her to get married before the time is right, I certainly look forward to having grandchildren around. Meanwhile, there are several families in our ward whose little children I get to hold or watch for a while now and then. And, of course, I served in the nursery for over a year. This is why it was such a pleasure for me to work in there.

What worries me is the attitude that I see so strongly around me, that the material possessions are so important to many families that they are completely willing to forego children in order to accumulate more possessions. By only having one or two children, they can drive a Lexus and a Cadillac, have a big house, a big pool, a boat, two snowmobiles, and take a luxury cruise every year. They work all the time, spend little time with their children, and apparently worship the almighty $.

I even see this attitude gaining strength more and more among the members of the church. I know several families in our ward who restricted themselves to two children so that they could live more comfortably.

At the same time, many of the happiest children and teens that I have ever known came from very large families, 6, 7, 10, 11 children. It certainly isn't all fun times, but even the bad times are fulfilling in many ways.

Mormons Pregnant Or Not Mormon Doctrine Studies - Page 2

First, it's important to remember that even Jacob, who had twelve sons and at least one daughter, had four wives given to him to accomplish the task. To ask one woman to raise a dozen kids is unreasonable unless it is her choice and the family is in a financial position to provide for them.

HOWEVER, if we wait to get married or to have children or to go on a mission or to get an education until we can AFFORD it, we will never do it. There is always something that seems a big priority at the moment that isn't too significant in the long term. If a couple is well enough off to have food, shelter, clothing, and a steady (though sometimes meager) income, there is no reason to delay having children, unless the mother's health is an unusual concern.

I'm thankful that my parents didn't wait until they could afford me. They probably still can't. But I am stronger for the experience of growing up on a budget, and I love my family more because of the closeness required by limited finances throughout my life.