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Will You Date A Non-member? - Page 2

I think that I'd stick mainly to LDS women, because my religion is such a huge part of my life, that if she didn't understand and believe the religion we really wouldn't be able to relate.

Plus there's the whole marriage for eternity thing. Why get married if it can't be forever?

Non-member Date Will

If I were to marry a non- member, which I doubt...I'm certain we would discuss certain issues before marriage. Like, I don't go to the beach on Sundays and I plan on giving my church $5,000 of our money per year etc. Any woman I would marry would have moral values herself and if any of these issues were a problem, we probably wouldn't get married.

One of my old missionary companions is on his 3rd wife. His first two were LDS, married in the temple and ended up in disaster. His current wife is Catholic and they get along great. He goes to the LDS church and she goes to the Catholic church. He told me he would never marry a mormon again. Of cource, you can't judge an entire church on the experiences of two women but he seems happy now.

Will You Date A Non-member? Studies Doctrine Mormon

It is my belief that the male species is made DRAMATICALLY stronger with the help of a strong woman. There are just certain traits that a woman can bring to the marriage. This is why I do not think I would EVER be interested in someone that IS NOT LDS. It is those spiritual traits that she can uniquely bring to the marriage that I would sorely miss.

Larry

Offtopic but, Someone here mentioned using a online LDS dating site. I would be curious what your experiences have been so far. Do you find that the men you meet there meet your expectations of what you read in their profiles? Do you get inundated with emails from men?

Page 2 Non-member Date Will

I may just be an overprotective brother, but when it comes to my sister dating outside the Church, I am very wary. She is smart and independent in her faith, but she tends to assume people are more well-intentioned than they sometimes turn out to be. Here is my reasoning behind advising her only to date members:

1. We see so many men within the Church who have problems with morality, beginning with pornography. These are people with standards to guide them, and they still fall. If people of strong faith have this problem so commonly, I don't like the statistics outside the faith. Without those standards, immorality as we see it is the norm. Porn is as common as blue jeans among men in our world today.

2. Without the standards of the Gospel, going "too far" isn't a big deal. It's "oops, sorry" and on with life, and brag about it in the locker room later. A non-LDS boyfriend might say he respects her standards, but he cannot actually respect them unless he abides by them. In the heat of the moment, he will go as far as she will allow him in whatever moment of weakness he can find her. That is the norm.

3. Sometimes it works out that the nonmember husband comes around and gets baptized and becomes a bishop, but that is the exception and not the rule. You will end up marrying from the pool of people you date and among whom you associate. If the goal is eternal marriage, a nonmember boyfriend will statistically not get you there. Plus, if you are emotionally involved with each other before he is interested in the Church, how will you OR HE know he is investigating for the right reasons? "Flirt to convert" is a logical fallacy.

That said, my mom joined the Church after marrying my dad, and they have been sealed for over 20 years. Dating nonmembers just can't be taken lightly or for the sole purpose of alleviating desparation.

Non-member Date Will

As a non-member that married a member and then converted, I thought that perhaps I could shed some light on this topic. Who said that just because you are not a member of our church that you don't share the same moral/ethical opinions? I know that when I met my husband (who was a member his entire life) was a lot more worldly than I. He strayed quite a bit as a teenager, and chose not to go on a mission. I, on the other hand was a very straight laced teenager, despite not having even known about the church. I have never smoked, I don't drink, I didn't "make-out," nor did I believe in pre-marital sex. In fact, the reason why I joined the church was because the more I learned about it (which I most likely never would have even discovered it if my then boyfriend would not have brought it to my attention) the more I realized that I was already living it's teachings, I just didn't have an organized religion that expressed them in my life. My husband and I talked in great detail about our beliefs and how we would handle situations when/if we got married. We decided that if we were to get married and have children that they would be raised in the LDS faith since I did not have an organized religion that I claimed, and that I would in no way prevent my husband from running our household in a manner that was conducive to the LDS lifestyle. I did not join the church because my husband to be made me, I joined it because I felt the warmth and love of the Holy Spirit when I read the scriptures and heard the missionaries teachings. I have a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel, that I am so thankful to have in my life, and I know that if my husband would not have reached out to me, despite me being a non-member, that it could have been many more years before I found it. We were married 3 years ago, and I was baptised the next day. We went to the temple a year later and were endowed and then sealed to our 3 month old daughter. I have had several callings in the church, and I love my current calling as a sunbeam teacher. My husband is now the 1st councilor in the Young Men's Presidency and we are very active in our ward. I know that there are exceptions to every rule, but I just wanted you to see that it is entirely possible for a member to marry a non-member and not fall astray. I often find myself keeping my husband on the straight and narrow because he finds himself taking the church and it's teachings a little for granted, whereas I treasure it so much having only found it so recently.

Will You Date A Non-member?

I have warned youth about the hazards of interfaith marriages...

-the sorrows and disillusionments which come from marrying out of the Church. But there seems to be a tendency on the part of many young people today to form their own opinions and their own conclusions to determine the right and the wrong of everything.

We are concerned and disturbed that many of the people are married by justices of the peace or bishops or ministers, when there are temples of God which guarantee that if there is righteousness there will be happiness forever and eternally.

It is very shortsighted for any girl to choose someone who cannot take her to the temple, or for any boy to go with a girl who cannot go to the temple with him. You cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel.

Yes, a small minority are finally baptized. Some good men and women have joined the Church after the interfaith marriage and have remained most devout and active. God bless them! We are proud of them and grateful for them. These are our blessed minority.

Others who do not join the Church are still kind, considerate, and cooperative, and permit the member spouse to worship and serve according to the Church pattern. God bless them also!

Many others join the Church ostensibly for the marriage, then fail to live the commandments. Many of them are later divorced. Others, though not divorced, continue to have friction, particularly in religious matters in the home.

The majority, however, do not join the Church. Surveys have indicated that only one of seven finally join the Church-the odds are against the others. And nearly half of those who marry out of the Church become inactive. As parents give up their religion, an increasing number of their children are brought up without any religion.

So you are taking a desperate chance if you say, "Well, maybe he will join after we are married. We will go ahead and try it and see." It is a pretty serious thing to take a chance on.

Frequently young people think, "Oh, that doesn't matter. We"ll get along all right. We"ll adjust ourselves. My spouse will permit me to do as I please or I will make adjustments. We"ll both live and worship according to our own pattern." This is not broad-mindedness, but even if it were, to be broad-minded with the Lord's eternal program is somewhat like being generous with other people's money.

Over the years many times women have come to me in tears. How they would love to train their children in the Church, in the gospel of Jesus Christ! But they were unable to do so. How they would like to accept positions of responsibility in the Church! How they would like to pay their tithing! How they would love to go to the temple and do the work for the dead, to do work for themselves, to be sealed for eternity, and to have their own flesh and blood, their children, sealed to them for eternity!

But the doors are locked! They themselves have locked them, and the doors have often rusted on their hinges. Someone did not teach these individuals sufficiently, or they did not study the scriptures and they did not understand, or they ignored the warnings which came to them. They married out of the Church. Perhaps he was a good man. Maybe he was handsome. He may have been cultured and well trained; but he did not have the qualification that he needed most and which they overlooked. He did not have membership in the kingdom; he did not have the priesthood, the ordinances, and the righteousness that would carry them to exaltation.

From addresses delivered 22 October 1976 at the Salt Lake Institute of Religion and 5 February 1978 at Ricks College, Rexburg, Idaho

Will Date Non-member - Page 2

After being in active myself, my wife is a big reason I returned to church.Without her support I don't think I could have made it.

Will Date Non-member Mormon Doctrine Studies - Page 2

I feel like this is a question that many LDS people should be prepared to answer. About 8 years ago I was very inactive and sought a relationship online with someone from England who was a Roman Catholic, but not active. I was not living in accordance with church standards and 9 months into our online relationship we were married at my stake center, by my bishop. I moved to England and through a series of miraculous events that were undeniably the hand of the Lord in my life, I was brought back to the gospel. When I found my testimony again it immediately placed a strain on my marriage and I was eventually led to divorce him. There were other contributing factors, but it was pretty much the main reason. So I returned home and divorced him only 10 months after we were married.

I was able to find my testimony again and ended up meeting a man 5 years later who started out as my friend but quickly became more. He began asking me questions about the gospel, and as he took the missionary lessons and his testimony grew stronger, so did my love for him. He proposed to me the night he was baptized, with his family there and I accepted. A year later we were sealed in the Mesa Arizona temple. You would think that would bring me to a happy ending. But sadly, the man who I thought was going to be my eternal companion soon revealed a darker side, and became very abusive - verbally, emotionally and physically. I was finally forced to leave him, and get divorced after only 3 years.

The point I am trying to get to is this....If it were ME, I would not date anyone who wasn't a member of the church, because a strong testimony and love of the gospel is very important to me. The only kind of marriage I want is an eternal one. I am in the process of having my sealing dissolved due to the extreme abuse, so I can hopefully someday find a worthy man to share eternity with. The main point I am trying to make is that
1) I feel it is best to date someone with similar standards and values, so to have harmony and a common faith in your marriage. Trust me, it is very hard to be married to someone with different beliefs on important things.
and
2) To date a convert or not is up to you. It shouldn't matter AS LONG AS their testimony is STEADFAST & IMMOVABLE. I thought my second husband had a strong testimony, but discovered that he didn't. My dreams of eternity were shattered with abuse and adultery....two things I never thought I would have to experience. So I just suggest that whoever you date, make sure you have a common love of the gospel and each other. Prayer is VERY important to be sure that you have made the right choice. In the end, the Lord will lead you where you are supposed to be, if you are willing to follow him. Remember, the most important decisions you make here are the ones that last for eternity!

CTR 4 EVER!