I was wondering,
Should Sexual intimacy and Sexual attraction for your spouse be one of the primary motivations for marrying him or her (along with other factors)? Or should that be secondary, and not valued as much as other factors?
I am one that believes this is very important to marriage and should not be discounted as a major factor in choosing a spouse. I also believe that without the Gospel and the truths within it, Sexual intimacy is not necessarily as fulfilling in a Marriage, but I have no concrete way of testing that.
President Kimball stated and I agree with him.
QUOTE |
The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be "one flesh" was as important as his command to "be fruitful and multiply." |
QUOTE (dbackers @ 10-Jul 09, 12:33 PM) |
Should Sexual intimacy and Sexual attraction for your spouse be one of the primary motivations for marrying him or her (along with other factors)? Or should that be secondary, and not valued as much as other factors? |
President Holland stated in his talk Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments when discussing Sex withing Marriage. Its a longer quote, but I feel it is worth examining:
QUOTE |
In this latter sense, human intimacy is a sacrament, a very special kind of symbol. For our purpose here today, a sacrament could be any one of a number of gestures or acts or ordinances that unite us with God and his limitless powers. We are imperfect and mortal; he is perfect and immortal. But from time to time--indeed, as often as is possible and appropriate--we find ways and go to places and create circumstances where we can unite symbolically with him, and in so doing gain access to his power. Those special moments of union with God are sacramental moments--such as kneeling at a marriage altar, or blessing a newborn baby, or partaking of the emblems of the Lord's supper. This latter ordinance is the one we in the Church have come to associate most traditionally with the word sacrament, though it is technically only one of many such moments when we formally take the hand of God and feel his divine power.... But I wish to stress with you this morning, as my third of three reasons to be clean, that sexual union is also, in its own profound way, a very real sacrament of the highest order, a union not only of a man and a woman but very much the union of that man and woman with God. Indeed, if our definition of sacrament is that act of claiming and sharing and exercising God's own inestimable power, then I know of virtually no other divine privilege so routinely given to us all--women or men, ordained or unordained, Latter-day Saint or non-Latter-day Saint--than the miraculous and majestic power of transmitting life, the unspeakable, unfathomable, unbroken power of procreation. There are those special moments in your lives when the other, more formal ordinances of the gospel--the sacraments, if you will--allow you to feel the grace and grandeur of God's power. Many are one-time experiences (such as our own confirmation or our own marriage), and some are repeatable (such as administering to the sick or doing ordinance work for others in the temple). But I know of nothing so earth-shatteringly powerful and yet so universally and unstintingly given to us as the God-given power available in every one of us from our early teen years on to create a human body, that wonder of all wonders, a genetically and spiritually unique being never seen before in the history of the world and never to be duplicated again in all the ages of eternity--a child, your child--with eyes and ears and fingers and toes and a future of unspeakable grandeur. |
QUOTE (dbackers @ 10-Jul 09, 2:54 PM) |
LDS I appreciate your comments, and I agree with you that Sexual intimacy should not be the first criteria for Marriage. But I think it is not an either-or situation where we have to only marry for one reason. I believe that part of forming the eternal family, a blessing I think that we all crave, is the communal power of intimacy between a man and his wife sealed by the covenantal relationship we find in the temple. |
Unfortunately, in today's world there are many, many, and maybe many more, who DO marry simply for the chemical attraction they are currently feeling with whomever they are with. I think this is why the divorce rate is so high in Western culture, because after the initial rush wears off, these people realize they have absolutely nothing else in common (been there, done that).
Certainly it is an important issue within a marriage, sacred and powerful. But is it the most important issue? Is it the main deal breaker if there is little or no chemistry between a man and a woman before they get married? For some it may be, even if every other item on their "marriage checklist" is met but there is no "spark" between them. I know I would have a difficult time marrying someone I didn't enjoy kissing.
This is seriously a deep topic that I didn't think anyone would be brave enough to discuss online. I see intimacy between the couple as being super personal and they have to use reason in everything but let's not forget the main purpose of this intimacy is to bring more of Heavenly Father's children into the world.