Horror, Shock, Abuse, How Do You Answer?

Horror Shock Abuse Answer - Mormon Doctrine Studies - Posted: 4th Feb, 2005 - 10:53am

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Dealing with those things that leave you asking 'Why?'
23rd May, 2004 - 7:47am / Post ID: #

Horror, Shock, Abuse, How Do You Answer?

Warning: This thread may contain graphic text, if you are faint of heart please close it now

I was recently reading some cases from the online crime library, some of them are quite graphic, some of the crimes happened to children... I do not want to sour anyone's stomach, but consider the following points:

1. A baby is kidnapped and raped repeatedly
2. A child is abused for years by his parents until he goes insane
3. A woman is raped and totured and made to do unspeakable things
4. A family's home is burnt to the ground by some lightminded teens
5. A man is falsely accused and goes to prison to face death

All of these crimes are heart rendering, they can cause a person to question their belief in God or become stronger, it really depends on the individual, but the question for discussion is this... what do you tell a person who may have suffered these things when they ask, 'Why?'



23rd May, 2004 - 10:39am / Post ID: #

Answer You How Abuse Shock Horror

This is a very tough question. First I think you have to explain to them the principle of agency. Really explain it. Why it is so important, etc. This agency has a large part to do with why. It may be the only reason. Not everything that happens to us is a part of Heavenly Father's plan for us, in my opinion, but he will take everything that happens to us and make it turn in to something good if we allow him.



23rd May, 2004 - 10:55am / Post ID: #

Horror, Shock, Abuse, How Do You Answer? Studies Doctrine Mormon

QUOTE
what do you tell a person who may have suffered these things when they ask, 'Why?


Somebody was asking me this question the other day in the Church, I didn't know what to say but I felt very strongly to tell him that in the Pre-existence they were some weaker and stronger Spirits and maybe Heavenly Father put the stronger Spirits to those tests because he knew they would be the only ones to be able to handle it and that's why sometimes when we think of people who do not face as much as challenges as others, we may seem as blessed, but really it is maybe because they were not very strong in the Pre-existence. Now, I know this is not necessaraly Church Doctrine but I feel I needed to make this point to the person for him to understand why he went through so much pain in life. The person felt very relieved.



23rd May, 2004 - 5:47pm / Post ID: #

Answer You How Abuse Shock Horror

I mostly agree with both tenaheff and LDS on their responses, and would like to add one thing. The ever-present battle of Good vs. Evil. There is Evil in the world, and will be here always during our lifetimes. WHY that Evil had to harm them, personally, I could never explain to someone. Prayer might help them to understand better than I could ever try. We may never truly know while here upon the earth.

IMO
Roz



23rd May, 2004 - 6:29pm / Post ID: #

Answer You How Abuse Shock Horror

There are situations where I cannot really give an answer. I have heard terrible stories that will make you cry for hours, and all you can do is to comfort the person in that time of pain, there is nothing really you can say to make them feel better but to listen to what they have to say, sometimes by just doing that, we help a great deal.



Post Date: 17th Jan, 2005 - 5:15am / Post ID: #

Horror, Shock, Abuse, How Do You Answer?
A Friend

Horror, Shock, Abuse, How Do You Answer?

Well, I am a mix between situation #2 and #3 from above, so I will answer to those ones. I have cried out in despair and anguish of my soul and I have wallowed in the deepest, darkest, most debilitating of depressions. I have asked in the deepest depths of humility with a shattered heart and complete resignation to my fate just why I had to have this happen to me. I also had adoption issues that led me to wonder why I would be born to Earth where my mother would give me away to this family, that proclaimed to truly, more than anyone, love me and want me, and had every choice in the world whether or not to raise me, but really wanted nothing good to do with me except to break my spirit and torment me? Was I so bad in the pre-existence that I needed to be punished, purified, and taught a lesson? How could God send me to live in such a poisonous, cancerous, defiled home? I cannot tell you the road I have travelled to come to understand some of the answers. But thanks to my Lord and Savior, I have come to terms with all that happened and have found peace. Let me share this with you:

QUOTE
Indeed, my experience in various church callings and in my profession as a family therapist has convinced me that God actively intervenes in some destructive lineages, assigning a valiant spirit to break the chain of destructiveness in such families. Although these children may suffer innocently as victims of violence, neglect, and exploitation, through the grace of God some find the strength to "metabolize" the poison within themselves, refusing to pass it on to future generations. Before them were generations of destructive pain; after them the line flows clear and pure. Their children and children's children will call them blessed.

In suffering innocently that others might not suffer, such persons, in some degree, become as 'saviors on Mount Zion" by helping to bring salvation to a lineage.  Carlfred Broderick, "I Have a Question," Ensign, Aug. 1986, 38


I was blessed to receive this article years ago. So, what do you tell a person who may have suffered innocently of these things when they ask, 'Why?' If they are LDS, you can tell them the above message. If they are not LDS, then I think it's a lot harder. You can tell them that they are given an opportunity to break the cycle of abuse and not pass it on to any possible children or spouse, that their horrible experience, while tragic, can be overcome, that God loves them very much, and try to have a lot of resources to be able to help that person. Also a huge thing is to have LOTS of patience, compassion, and tolerance while the person may be using conversations with you to help them work it out. This message from Carlfred Broderick has been of great comfort to me. I have to say though, that I had many things that were of comfort to me, including the gospel, other people, and things I would read, but I was not healed fully and acquired an understanding until I completely gave all of these issues to Jesus and His Atonement. For those who want to help answer why when someone asks them, also consider this:

QUOTE
I have had the privilege of knowing many such individuals, people whose backgrounds are full of incredible pain and humiliation.  Most of us, I believe, are acquainted with one or more of these valiant, struggling spirits. In the latter stages of their progress, they are easy to recognize and appreciate. But sometimes in the early stages they are suffering so much from their terrible wounds that it takes a mature degree of spiritual sensitivity to see past the bitterness and pain to discern the purity of spirit within. It is our duty and our privilege to befriend such individuals and to provide whatever assistance and support we can in helping them to achieve their high destiny.

Others of us may be, ourselves, the suffering messengers of light. Let us be true to our divine commission, forgoing bitterness and following in our Savior's footsteps.  Same article.


To read the full article click below:

https://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Mag...;nc=4567#LPHit1

Reconcile Edited: dawnofthenew on 17th Jan, 2005 - 2:08pm

Post Date: 4th Feb, 2005 - 10:36am / Post ID: #

Horror Shock Abuse How You Answer

ELDER GENE R. COOK SHARES THOUGHTS ON SUFFERING
See https://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/54201

PROVO, Utah - During a devotional address at Brigham Young University Tuesday, Elder Gene R. Cook of the Seventy told students that the Lord is showing His love for people by allowing them to suffer. He said suffering is a way for people to grow and become more Christlike. "Our trials can either harden our hearts or humble us," he said. "The righteous sufferer lets the Lord deliver them."

Post Date: 4th Feb, 2005 - 10:53am / Post ID: #

Horror, Shock, Abuse, How Do You Answer?
A Friend

Horror Shock Abuse How You Answer Mormon Doctrine Studies

Wow, thank you so much for that article. He offered six tools to help us through our suffering. When there is a concise list like this of things that I can personally do, it is easier for me to remember what to do in this type of situation. Here are the six things:

· First, keep the commandments with exactness.

· Second, endeavor to see more fully the Lord's hand in your life.

· Third, when faced with trials, seek to increase your faith

· Fourth, be patient and wait in the Lord.

· Fifth, do not be discouraged along the way.

· Sixth, humble yourself and repent of your personal sins.


Like President Hinckley's 6 B's, I will learn these and remember them.

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