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Is There Something Wrong With Me

Is There Something Wrong With Me


Okay, so since I was young I had a lot of social problems: trouble in school, fights with my parents, fallouts with my friends. Now that I'm older, I'm 16, and for the past 2 or 3 years, it has been really severe. I know I'm a teenager and everyone always tells me that all teenagers have trouble controlling emotion, but sometimes I feel like someone has flicked a switch and I can't think anymore. I'm just driven by what I'm feeling. I've been suspended from school four times for swearing at teachers and being highly disruptive. I have no attention span but I still got the highest grades in my school in the Junior Cert exams. This is another reason why people think I'm being cocky and innapropriate. I have scars on my wrists from all the times I've cut myself. After a year of doing this I finally told my best friend and afterwards I felt so guilty I got sick and cut myself four or five more times and stole a bottle of vodka from a shop and drank until I passed out. I ran away from home after a fight with my parents, and threatened to kill myself if they didn't treat me better. I'm on my final warning with the police for numerous assaults and shoplifting. The list of difficulties I have caused could go on and on. I also get extremely bored and lonely and when I do I sneak out my window to smoke weed or drink spirits. Sometimes I do crazy stuff like when they were doing roof repairs on the Cathedral I climbed to the top on my own at 4am, 300ft above the ground in the rain in winter, and I jump off cliffs which people have died on. Sometimes I know what I'm doing is wrong and unfair but, if I think about that too much it just drives me back to cutting my wrists. I went to a behaviour therapist last week who spoke with me for an hour and concluded that 'poor emotional regulation' was normal for people of my age. However, I had been too scared to tell her about the cutting or the illegal stuff. Now I have no real way out. My parents say it's just 'poor emotional regulation' too. I have anxiety along with cutting and hating my girlfriend, who I broke up with a few times, over nothing. Then I started crying over to my family and friends. All I want is to be able to be close to people around me without being uncontrollable. Does this sound like any disorder or anything you know Is there any way, other than counselling which I tried and it just angered and upset me, that I can get help
Source: Mental Help Net Questions and Answers

Me Wrong There Is

Hello,

I'm really sorry. Since I'm not a specialist, I can't just categorize you as having some specific disorder. I can only give you my opinions as a fellow teenager. I have similar issues with emotions (though I can't say they are as serious as what you described).

Firstly, I don't know if this counts as counseling, but I've heard that there are hotlines out there for people with problems like yours. It may be easier to talk to someone over the phone rather than face-to-face. I say this from personal experience. I have never told my doctor or others about my problems, but I find it much easier to talk about them when you can keep a degree of anonymity. It shouldn't be that different than what you're doing right now, except with most hotlines you will find people more qualified than me to talk to.

Another thing that has always worked for me is the common phrase "it could always be worse". If I start feeling... Uncomfortable with my life, I always look to the people who are worse off than me. Read some stories of those who don't have parents, those who are forced into slavery, and those who don't even have teachers to curse at. Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I personally found that a solid way to feel less miserable. Imagine how many people would gladly switch places with you. You might be surprised to find that there are many.

Lastly, I always find someone to talk to. Preferably in your own, real, life. You mentioned that you told your secret to your best friend. If he's still your friend, talk to him about it. If he stopped because of what you told him, he didn't deserve to be your friend in the first place. And by talking, I don't mean give a giant confession or self-pitying monologue. Just give him a small opinion on what's messed up in you life and ask his opinion. If you guys agree, you found someone to talk to. If you disagree, it should at least be a revealing argument, on both your and your friend's opinion. Just make sure to make up and stay friends, even if you argue.

Maybe some of what I said sounds ridiculous, perhaps some things I said made you angry. If so, I apologize, and I wish you good luck, even if you don't decided to follow my advice.

Is There Something Wrong With Me Health & Special Psychology

I would try finding something you really enjoy doing. Something that gives you a real sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Be it work, playing guitar, anything like that. Then just kind of focus on that.

I had a lot of the problems your describing. I cut myself, drank really heavily, contemplated suicide a lot, ran away, skipped school a lot, smoked a bunch of weed, got in fights, on and on. I think a lot of people go threw what your going threw believe it or not your far from alone in it. I am 31 now and relatively stable and happy. It took a lot of work and was very hard. Whatever you do, do not kill yourself. You can't change your mind after that.

It is good that your seeing a counselor but you probably need regular weekly sessions. I know that can be expensive and probably seems pretty lame to you though. Honestly when I was going threw all of that stuff I wish I would have gone to a clinic or something like that. I really needed help bad and couldn't seem to find it.

Just keep looking for help, like MrSky said there are hot lines and things like that there to help you. Looking back I wish I would have had the courage to call one. I always wanted to but was scared or something. Like I would be weak or a failure somehow for needing help (really dumb reason now that I think about it). It is sad because I probably would have had lot better years if I had just called, good luck kid.

Edited: Oliron on 29th Dec, 2011 - 11:03pm

Me Wrong There Is

Hello my friend I am sorry that you are feeling that way, I am sure that you are not alone. You should talk to a friend that you trust or call the hotline. I think some people are right. Look up stories and you will know that you are not alone.