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Label Warnings

Dumb Product Warnings

Actual Label Instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

On a Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage

On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink:
After opening, keep upright

On a New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

In an american guide to setting up a new computer:
to avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room Temperature before opening.(Sensible instruction was on the inside of the box.)

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids:
Lie down on bed and insert poscool slowly up to the projected portion Like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting poscool for Approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet.

On a blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado

On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."

On an infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

On a package of Fisherman's Friend® throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

On a Magic 8 Ball:
Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

On a roll of Life Savers:
Not for use as a flotation device.

On a cup of McDonald's coffee:
Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

On a refrigerator:
Refrigerate after opening.

On a disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

On a handgun:
Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.

On pantyhose:
Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

On a piano:
Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

On a can of Fix-a-Flat:
Not to be used for breast augmentation.

On a Pentium chip:
If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.

On work gloves:
For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

On a palm sander:
Not to be used to sand palms.

On a calendar:
Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

On Odor Eaters:
Do not eat.

On a blender:
Not for use as an aquarium.

On a fax machine:
WARNING! Never attempt to directly fax anyone an image of your naked buttocks. Always photocopy your buttocks and fax the photocopy.

On a revolving door:
Passenger compartments for individual use only.

On a microscope:
Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

On children's alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

On a wet suit:
Capacity, 1.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
Open Other End.

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?


Ok, what scares me is that somewhere someone must have used these items wrongly to make the warning necessary.

Warnings Label

These are funny, but believe me they are needed in some cases, because there are people that will wonder about these things. It is kind of like when people join the Community after all the 'how to' messages and still wonder what they need to do to play an RPG - despite all the 'lead me, guide me, walk beside me' helps.