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Friends Anyone? - Page 4

Wow, this thread is great! I am awful at choosing friends sometimes.



1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?

A friend, to me, is a person who you can depend on through the best and the worst of life's obstacles. A friend is there for you even when they have other places they could be, other things they could be doing, or other people to see.
Also, a friend is someone who you have a special connection with.

2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates? Yes, in my opinion an associate is a person you know on an non-personal level. A friend is someone you can share all your dreams, hopes, wishes, wants, fears...etc with.

3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa? Yes, it is something that can happen easily if there is a confrontation between you and your friend.

4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above?

Simple answer: NO

Anyone Friends

My general concept is that:

" A stranger is a friend, to whom we have not yet said, hi or Hello."

I do not follow the "rigid" dictionary's definition, I go by my feelings for the other person.

I have known many people for a long time and I would still refer to them as an associate or an acquaintance.

I have known others for a shorter period, and based on the nature of our relationship and interactions, I consider them my friends.

Animals are very sensitive and intuitive. At times, I would refer to some as my friends.

Friends can be on a sliding scale ranging from associates, acquaintances to close friends, based on how the relationship and interactions progress.

Friends Anyone? Health & Special Psychology

I grew up in a small city... it was called a "city" because it had the required population to be called such. In reality, it was just a big town.

I moved to a larger city, and this was recognisable as being a "city" through sheer numbers of people.

I didn't know anyone in the city I moved to.

Aspiration number 1) Ground myself... know my surroundings, find a place to live where I would feel comfortable, concentrate on my job.

Aspiration number 2) Meet people. The obvious place to do this would be within the workplace, but I was employed as a divisional manager, and becoming "friends" with subordinates is only okay within a work context. No, I wanted to meet people on a social level.
The best way to meet people is to join a club/association/organisation of like minded people. This doesn't mean you will meet future "friends", but it's a good start.

But... people you meet through the above examples... are they friends in the classical sense?

My friends live in the small city I originated from. I grew up with them, got into trouble with them, developed musical tastes with them, etc. They were just like me.

I haven't seen any of them for years, but I know, if I was to knock on their door one day, I'd be welcomed.

I've met people in my new city... I did this through frequenting local bars, cafes, restaraunts... and they are decent enough people.

Friends are people you view as being deserving of your attention, and they recognise you back for your attention.

Page 4 Anyone Friends

Philosopher, although it is interesting, your take on Friendship that is, I find that is largely built on social agreement or maybe I should say social appetite. The description almost seems to be on the level of associates. True friendship I believe extends beyond just giving attention during a period of time. If I am hit by car and someone stops to assist me - is that my friend? If my mother treats me as a mother would, is she my friend? How about my good school buddy who has been with me through thick and thin, but on occassion persuades me to take a puff of something... is he my friend?

Anyone Friends

It takes alot for someone to be classified as a friend in my books. Throughout my entire career, I cannot say that I have met anyone meeting the criteria. There are always the gossipers, the users and the pretenders. From school, everyone are either married, engaged or not available. I have three friends. One is my boyfriend, one my ex-boyfriend and one is my sister. These people listen to you even if what you say on a daily basis seems repetitive. They listen to my problems and suggest plausible solutions. They share the joys and sorrows life brings. They share in your moments of glory, as well as your moments of 'what was I thinking.' They teach you new stuff without laughing at your first try or becoming frustrated. They suuport you with your career aspirations and educational initiatives.

Even at work, I am the jack of all trades, having work in every aspect of the department, thereby not necessarily in need of help with regards to getting my job done. I am actually not a team player, but will adjust to suit if the situation requires such.

For my entire life, I feel that women are threatened by me, and always turn out to leave much to be desired. I feel a closer connection to men than women, because women are always seemingly competing with me. Men are so much more mellow than women and do not make a matter larger than it usually is.

Therefore I cannot say that I have experienced that true friendship, aside from boyfriends and family. It is really difficult for me to trust people, as I have been burnt, so to speak, many times

Friends Anyone?

To me a true friend is someone who knows me better than I know myself. Someone to whom I can not lie about how I feel about any subject. In my entire life I have had only 5 people be that kind of friend. One of them is my mother. Another way I describe someone as a friend to me is whether or not I'd lay down my life for them. I'm talking about a cold decision, not a reaction to trauma. If I'd take a firing squad bullet in their place. There are only 4 people in my life I feel that way about and three of them are blood relations.

Absolutely. An associate is exactly that someone with whom you "associate" in a given venue. People with whom one works are associates not necessarily friends, by any definition. You may actually not care for associates but you have to work with them.

Absolutely. Some friends are found by chance (my longest lasting friendship is not harmed by time, distance or anything else. I met BJ in the 5th grade and we have been closer than sisters ever since and we're in our late 50s!) For me, what will demote a person from friend to associate then to acquaintance then to ignored completely is instigating something that will cost me dearly. A girl I considered my own friend as well as my daughter's friend "stole" our room mate from us and as a result we lost the house in which we were living and I ended up "homeless" for nearly a year. That person has been reduced from friend to enemy. I don't relate at all to people I would describe as an enemy. They are non-existent beings to me.

No because to be my friend requires a much higher level of intelligence than any monkey could posses. I doubt I could be "friends" with an ape either. Dependent upon them to help me survive, yes. Would I defend them? Yes because my survival would depend on them, but "friends"? No. That requires sentience.

I once read a card that said "a friend is someone who reaches for your hand and takes hold of your heart". We can attempt to cultivate friendships but most of the time they just happen. A good example is Adell and I. There is more than 30 years between Adell and I. She is the younger, a friend of my daughter's, but after only about 10 minutes of talking with her, we became bonded as close as I am with my genetic daughter. Adell is not someone I would have chosen from a description, she just came into my heart almost instantly. I can't live with Adell she attracts or creates too much drama for me but I love her as I love my daughter.
A gentleman who has been a godsend while I've been here with my mother in the hospital I consider a dear friend. He wants to make it more than that, but I don't have the feelings for him that would create a partnership. He's just a friend. He acts in a most friendly way but he's pushing the limit of my endurance with his insistence on our being more than just friends. Eventually, if he doesn't let up, we will be acquaintances instead of friends. The fact that I have been dependent on him for transportation is one of the things that will "spoil" this relationship as well. This part of the country has no public transportation and I am unable to walk more than about a half mile so I'm "housebound" without him.

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Friends Anyone - Page 4

My humble opinion in the term 'friendship'.

1. What does the word 'friend' mean to you?
there are many variations in the term 'friend'. In general, a friend is a bond that connects one person to the other, is a person you know personally and accepts you as the way you are. They wouldn't judge you but they would be frank their thoughts on you. Friendship stands only when and if the person is willing to be there for you and you are to them.

However, we do hear the term 'best friend' or 'close friend. This unique term is given to those that you're closely related with emotionally and mentally. They do not only accept you as who you are but they will be there for you, standing by your side in every choice you make. They're the first people you turn to, the ones that will lend you their shoulders and the ones that will fight with you to the very end.

In many cases, your lover is your best friend.


2. Do you understand the difference between friends and associates?

Associates are people you meet and talk to. People you know at a certain level. They could be the people you meet at times in gatherings or those you might go out with for a movie. The difference here is that, you hold back to a certain level on your personal life and thoughts. They're also the ones you might not put full effort in knowing, understanding or sacrificing.


3. Can a friend be demoted to associate or vice versa?

Yes. I believe that people change and every changes we make, we walk a different path. There will always be a time when your friend walk a path you're not willing to follow and endure.

I personally had a friendship of 16 years that have been demoted to an associate. It might look like a waste but we've changed too much and I can no longer be myself when I'm with her.

4. If you are in the middle of a jungle with only monkeys around, could they become your friends based on your definition in #1 above?

Well, if I can communicate to them at a personal level, share my thoughts n emotions, really be there for them as they will be there for me... Why not? and if I can't.. The max it'll be is just an acquaintance or nothing.

Who decides who is a friend and who is not? In other words, is a friend a person who fits the dictionary term for 'friend' or is it based on your definition? If someone wants to be your friend and you choose not, is the person still a friend to you?

Its a mutual fact that both decides the level of friendship. Everyone of us have a different idea of what friendship should be like, therefore, its up to us on the decision making.

If someone wants to be my friend but I choose not to, that person would just be an acquaintance to me. As for the person himself/herself, that's their decision to make and not mine.

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Friends Anyone Psychology Special & Health - Page 4

The key is to be yourself so you attract friends that are just like you. If you portray something you're not you'll attract friends who are NOT like you or who may think you're being odd because you're not natural.