Do you think it is possible to truly have a good marriage relationship with someone 20-25 years older or younger than you? Please give us the pros and cons, especially with the current common LDS community thinking in your area.
I think it can work. I once married a man that was 8 years older than me. Our marriage was great for the 1st 2 years, then he met someone his own age. He decided that she was better than me (even with her twin boys) but he wanted me to stick around. I finally was fed up I gave him an ultimatim, it's her or me and he chose her. So I filed for divorce 4 1/2 years after getting married. About 2 years later I met someone 8 years younger than me & we married. He had too many emotional issues & started having extramarital affairs, we have 1 son in our 2 1/2 year marriage. Again I had to end the marriage, he ruined my credit experience that years later I trying to repair. Now I married to someone my age, & we get along just great.
There was a member family that I met on my mission, the wife was twenty years younger than the husband, and they were great.
Unfortunately I recently found out that they got a divorce. I guess that she met another guy and started messing around with him. It's really sad.
But I don't think the failure of their marriage should be attributed to the age difference. I guess it depends on the individuals. Maturity is more important than age, but then there is the fact that twenty years of difference means that they grew up in different generations, and therefore there could be a bit of a generation gap between them.
There's always the rule of seven, take your age, divide in half and add seven, that's the age of the youngest person you should date. Or, subtract seven from your age, and multiply by two, and that's the age of the oldest person you should date.
In my own opinion, I don't think that the success of a relationship has something to do with age difference. I know a lot of couple who have big age gaps but they are still together after many years of marriage. When both individual really care and love each other, they tend to adjust with their partner. Also, when the bond they share is strong, age doesn't really matter.
Kimsh, we respect your opinion, but this section is for Single LDS members only.
My first husband was (well, still is!) 17 years older than I am. We had what I thought was a great relationship for about 5 years. And then things began to go wrong -- and I don't believe it had anything to do with age. (It was actually religion, but that's another topic.)
I don't think I could date or marry a man a lot younger than I am, mainly because it would be too much like having another son (mine is 21 now). Actually, I prefer older men. They are usually more steady and "calm" than younger guys.
Offtopic but, And I couldn't possibly ever again date a man who has never had children. I've tried that route, and they just don't understand how important my kids are to me. |
I think 20 to 25 years is too big a difference. To me 10 - 12 would be the max. With a 25 year difference you would always be at different stages in your life. My wants and desires are far different today than they were 25 years ago. What makes me happy and content are quite different as well as my stamina and ability to do certain physical things. So, when there is a 25 year age difference, one of the members is always much younger and one much older. How can they really enjoy the same things in life. You are not even close to being peers.