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Last week while unloading groceries into my van a woman and a young boy, about 5 years old passed by. This boy had an actual pacifier in his mouth, not one of those look-alike candy ones- a real one like babies and toddlers use. I tried not to stare, but this definitely caught my attention. His mother must have seen me looking because she quickly snatched it from his mouth and stuffed it into her purse.
My 3 year old, Colin, lost interest in his when he was about 9 months old and being exposed to the beginnings of a more normal diet. This was totally his decision. There was no outside pressure/incentive/influence.
So, friends, how old is too old for a pacifier?
I know what you mean by watching a 5 years old boy with a pacifier still in his mouth but it is interesting to notice that some parents who may see this as 'crazy' or 'wrong' allow their own children to walk around with a blanket until they are almost ready to enter primary school . What is the difference really?. Now, I know pacifiers are TERRIBLE for the kids's teeth. I don't recall my son using one.
Each child is different and have different methods of 'comforting' themselves. I'm glad you did not say anything to that lady, she would have feel very bad since I'm sure she knows the child is big to be using a pacifier, but you see, sometimes we don't know the whole story behind, we don't know the child's needs or background, sometimes we just judge based on what we 'see' but the mom is only the one that knows the needs of her own child. My son is a hyperactive 4 years old who may have Attention Hyperactivity Disorder, he breastfed until he was 3 years old, I know what people said, I know the 'looks' but really they didn't know what I went through with him Each child has their own pace and as parents I think we should try our best to suit their needs based on the child and the circumstances.
Most children need a 'pacifier' of some kind, some use the rubber one on their mouths, other use a blanket, other use 'mommy' as their pacifier...other use a 'bear' to sleep with, etc. Just to show that most children have something they use to feel secure. So it is really hard for me to say how old a child should stop using a pacifier. It is not my decision. It is based on the child's needs.
As LDS_forever eloquently stated, it is very difficult to gauge the cut-off age for a pacifier. My 9-year old didnt have too much of a problem with getting off the pacifier, but did take some time to get off going to bed with a bottle. My 1-year old never used a pacifier, not once. Again to restate LDS, it is all relative to the child, and the hope is that in their own time, they will get off of it, one way or another.
Carrying around a stuffed animal or a blanket is different than sucking on a pacifier. I had a blanket until I was 9. NO I was not allowed to take it out of the house. I also sucked my thumb until I was 9. Moving closer to the ocean put a stop to that. I couldn't breath through my nose at night ~ and with a thumb stuck in my mouth made it impossible to breath. Survival instincts took over and the thumb came out and stayed out of the mouth.
Sucking thumbs, fingers or pacifiers do indeed harm the teeth. Plus they also can lead to illness's. Dirty little hands, dropping pacifiers on dirty floors and in the dirt.
In looking back to my childhood, if my parents had paid more attention they would have seen that my two older sisters would not leave me alone. They told me what to do, when to do it, when not to do it. Man, I was tugged all over the place. At least my blanket and thumb allowed me to do what I wanted.
As soon as the child is weaned, the pacifier should be buried in the deepest hole you can dig. If your child is demanding one ~ take a good long look at his/her environment. What is causing him/her to be so insecure? Start right at home and honestly eliminate any possibilities there. It doesn't even have to be overbearing siblings, or fighting parents. It can be parents seriously discussing their financial problems or seriously discussing current events, and not being aware that their child is in the same room listening. NO he/she cannot understand finances or the war in Iraq ~ but he/she can most definitely understand the sounds and voices of stress! Children will almost always take on the blame for that stress. Children suck their thumbs while still in the womb ~ it is calming to them. So when you give them a substitute thumb they will suck that. Why not take away the stress instead. It is much healthier.
Well, I don't agree with you at all Agene. Perhaps, I do if the child is older, but I don't think it is true of a 2 year old.
There is no question that a child gets comfort from a pacifier or thumb. However, I don't think that means there is too much stress in their lives. Sometimes, the comfort is being sought simply because they are tired or don't feel well.
Sucking a thumb or pacifier is similar to any other habit one picks up. The habit needs to be broken. Many young children have a strong sucking urge/need as infants. This is how they become addicted to the pacifier or thumb. So, now they no longer have this sucking urge/need, but they have the habit.
I do think it is similar to having a special blanket that must be with them before they sleep. My grandson used to have a special teddy bear he slept with. He turned it upside down and put his thumb and finger between the tag and rubbed. This helped him fall asleep. We even took it to Church so he could nap there. He gave it up all on his own, but only about two months ago. He is 4.5. Most people didn't mind the teddy bear, but would not have approved of a pacifier. It really is the same principal, in my opinion.
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He gave it up all on his own, but only about two months ago. He is 4.5. Most people didn't mind the teddy bear, but would not have approved of a pacifier. It really is the same principal, in my opinion |
I have seen over the years a few children around the age of 5 with pacifiers in their mouths, but yesterday, I was really shocked, when I was filling my car up with fuel, and I glanced sideways, there was a girl in the next car with a pacifier, and she was about 9 or 10!
Sorry, but in my opinion, that is way too old to be outside doing that. At least if she has it in bed nobody would know about it and make fun of her. Going around at that age with a pacifier, is going to have everybody making fun of the girl.
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I was really shocked, when I was filling my car up with fuel, and I glanced sideways, there was a girl in the next car with a pacifier, and she was about 9 or 10! Sorry, but in my opinion, that is way too old to be outside doing that |