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Close Topic OptionsWhy Do They Stay?
Why Stay - Community News, FAQ, Feedback - Posted: 21st Dec, 2005 - 7:17am
Posts: 22 - Views: 4137
The frustrated member
Why Do They Stay?
Why Do They Stay?
The funny thing about certain members who claim that we treat them so bad is this - why do they stay? It is still a mystery to me that if our Rules are too rigid and our Administration and Moderation is below par that the 'miserable' user wouldn't have left already - I know I would.
Is it jealousy and envy that is the root of it all? They know in the deepest of them that no such Community exists out there so they want to be part of it, but yet they cannot be in charge of it so it bugs them. They simply cannot relax and enjoy - they make an issue of every little thing. Yet they stay. It is a puzzle, any ideas as to why such 'unhappy' members simply do not delete their account?
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Post Date: 8th Mar, 2005 - 8:30am / Post ID: #
Why Do They Stay? Feedback & FAQ News Community
I think people stay because it is such a good forum and they probably want to make it work. In some ways, its like a marriage. I have donated because of the way I feel about the forum. I have invested time and money completely voluntary knowing that the forum neither requires it nor specifically promotes it. While I in no way insinuate that the forum admins owe me anything, it does mean that I, if I had a problem, would be more than willing to stick with it to make it work. I wonder if thats why others stay. I don't see why those who hhaven'tdonated stay when they don't like it here though. I guess we would have to ask them, but they are gone.
Stay They Why
| QUOTE |
| Vincenzo: Is it any one country in particular that these users tend to be from? |
Well base on statistics they tend to be female and from the USA.
| QUOTE |
| Konquererz: I don't see why those who haven't donated stay when they don't like it here though. |
Well the question applies to both donating and regular members. We have both types of members here. The ones that donate I am sure try harder, but it does not change the fact they are unhappy and use every opportunity they can behind the scenes to express it. They don't do it (rant about the Administration, rules, etc.) on the Forum because they know their account will be deleted regardless of having made a donation. The ones that never donate seem to be worst than those that do which is what makes it more weird. They too tend to form a group of what I call 'the unhappys' and they IM/Email/PM one another concerning how bad the Forum treats them.
As an off note, but still related: The Moderators and I keep a log of why users delete their account (they have to give a reason before they leave) and the one thing they have in common that I notice is this: they joined with attitude and so they stay with the same attitude and eventually leave with attitude. The Forum does not 'change' them, indeed the Forum shouldn't - it is not a spiritual revival here, just a means of communication, but they seem to want it to be more than that - a psychological fix, an emotional needs center, etc. The Mods and myself can testify to this - we get all their Emails, IMs and PMs. Those who are not offended easily, see each post as a view point and who are not interested in people's personal business are the ones who are able to adjust quickly.
Stay They Why
It is a mystery to me!. These same members who are so unhappy with the forum and its administration say all kind of things to other members through private messages, e-mails and IM...yet they are so naive to think we do not know, remember the phrase " What goes around, comes around"...yet they think they are never wrong, they are quick to point other's faults but they do not see all the work and burden they are for the community simply because they are not happy...yet they talk about leaving...yet they still here!. The only thing they have to do is go to "My controls" page and click "Delete Membership" and the pain will go as quickly as that button takes them out from this site. But no, they decide to extend the "agony" and make everybody feel sorry for them...It is like they are in an "abuse type of relationship" but with a forum!..they say they are not being treated right or fairly, and that the site have giving them many sad experiences...yet theystay!. Unless some of these members are mentally unstable (and this is NOT meant to be a joke or sarcasm), I do not see why they want to be on a site that treats them so bad. If any of those members are reading this, I wanna say: Please just leave now, don't make yourself look like a fool, delete your membership...this forum is going to go forward with or without you, find a site that meets your needs and makes you feel comfortable...what are you waiting for if this site brings so much "pain" into your life?...there are millions of sites around the world, find one that you like...and be happy, really!.
Why Do They Stay?
I think it's because there isn't a better forum anywhere on the net. I don't post near as much as I used to but I do come in to read other posts. This is still my favorite place to post. I know that whatever I say here will not be turned against me or used to flame me. I really like that. I LOVE the strict rules about conduct. It makes this the friendliest place to post. If people don't like it here and still stay, well maybe they will come to realize what a great place it is and participate in discussions. If not, well that's their problem. I hope this forum never changes, it's perfect just the way it is, and I'm proud to be a member. 
Why They Stay
| QUOTE |
| I think it's because there isn't a better forum anywhere on the net. |
Well, I do not disagree of course
, but now we have developed a no tolerance of these 'types' of users and immediately delete their account rather than take on all their 'I am offended...' rants. Post Date: 21st Dec, 2005 - 7:17am / Post ID: #
Why They Stay Community News FAQ & Feedback
I don't think it is so much that they are truly "miserable" per say, but perhaps because human nature loves drama. Most people thrive in drama, and so they wish to create it for their own interest. Or perhaps they lead such lives where they are constantly being overlooked, and so they want to be in the spotlight somewhere. Let's all face it, we all love to be in the spotlight. It doesn't have to be all the time, but we love to have the attention on us to ensure that people notice us and we aren't neglected. I see girls at my work all the time create their own drama simply for attention. It's not that they are wanting to cause problems and burdens for everybody, but because they want people to notice them.
It sounds like you all have had some rough situations in the past, but everything seems to be running smoothly now. But yeah, that's my take on the situation. You learn a lot working with little girls.
TOPIC: Why Do They Stay?